Breathe Anew
by orangepencils
Summary: In his opinion, Gilbert had it all and he was perfectly happy with his life, his lover, his job and everything else. However, faith has something else waiting for him. AU
1. Slipped

**Breathe Anew**

**Slipped**

**274**

**This is the story I mentioned in the last COLT chapter. This is what it spawned. I apologize for taking so long to update my things this week. I have a lot for you guys, I just need to type them ahaha. **

**So yes, I have about five stories going on at the same time. I'm going to update them at different paces.**

**That said, I do hope you like this MULTI CHAPTERED story. It's ironic, but when I first started writing for APH, I had sworn to myself that I wouldn't do multi chaptered stories. I have about 6 of those now…**

**It's an AU and that's all I'm revealing for now.**

Breathe Anew

Slipped

Gilbert Beilschmidt could say that he was perfectly happy with his life. He had a good job that provided him with a steady income, he had a car that worked well, he had two of the best friends anyone could ever ask for, he lived in a condo that didn't look half bad and most of all, he had someone he loved very much and who loved him back just as much.

He met Matthew Williams when was twenty-three and struggling between part time jobs to pay for rent, gas and tuition. He was working as a waiter at a local bistro when the younger man walked in with a few other people. Gilbert pleaded with his co-worker to take their table and that day was the only day his boss didn't yell at him for slacking off.

Matthew returned to the restaurant a few more times and eventually, the two became good friends. Gilbert would say that it was thanks to his colleague, who took over some of his tables so that he could chat with the younger man, that they became an item, while Matthew would say that it was thanks to Gilbert's failed attempts at casual small talk.

It took him a year and a half to realize that he was in love with Matthew Williams and it took him another six months to confess to it. Gilbert was expecting many different reactions from the younger man, but all Matthew did was give him a small smile and pecked his lips.

When he finished school and got his degree, he moved to Germany for one summer to visit the land of his father. (He called it Prussia no matter what, because Prussia was way more awesome than simple little Germany.) One summer turned into two years and it was during his time abroad that he realized that he loved Matthew. When he returned home, the first thing he did was confess his feelings.

And then, two years ago, Matthew moved in with him. The two of them lived happily together in Gilbert's condo. It was now five years that they had been going out together and he finally decided that he was going to propose to his lover. It took all of his willpower to keep it a secret from Matthew, but somehow or other, he managed.

The day of the event started quite well. Gilbert made sure that he had the rather expensive ring with him, packed a nice picnic for them and then he drove them to a nice secluded spot by the lake they discovered one summer.

The weather was beautiful and it was just warm enough that it wasn't overbearing. Matthew was oblivious to what was going on, but he was tremendously enjoying himself. Gilbert suggested they go for a swim before lunch, since it was still early and Matthew agreed.

They swam about the lake, squirting water at each other and stealing kisses here and there when Gilbert challenged Matthew. He told the Canadian man that he wouldn't be able to catch him and Matthew immediately started swimming in his direction. When he got to a place where he could walk on the rocky bottom, he started running after the taller man, but Matthew then slipped on the unstable surface and Gilbert watched him fall in slow motion.

At first, it was funny, then it got annoying when the younger man didn't resurface right away, but then he knew that this was not a prank Matthew was pulling on him; this was serious. It got worse when he saw a trail of blood float to the surface. Gilbert thanked his lucky stars that he knew CPR as he dove under the water to get his lover before it was too late.

Once he had a firm hold on him, he ran out and put the unconscious body on a towel that had been put out earlier. He then noticed that Matthew was not breathing and before he did anything, he rummaged for his phone and called the paramedics. When he was off the phone, he did not waste another second before performing CPR on Matthew. He just hoped that everything would turn out well.

After ten seconds passed, Matthew coughed out some water. After forty-five seconds, he started breathing again, but it was strained and laboured. After ten minutes, the ambulance arrived. This was not how he imagined he would be spending his day.

**OWARI 1**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: April 5th 2010, 11:05pm**

**Finished writing: April 5th 2010, 11:58pm**

**Started typing: April 18th 2010, 1:14pm**

**Finished typing: April 18th 2010, 1:41pm**


	2. Tripped

**Breathe Anew**

**Tripped**

**Characters: Matthew, Gilbert**

**Rating here: K+**

**Disclaimer: I don't know.**

Breathe Anew

Tripped

Waiting was not his thing. It had never been and it probably would never be his forte. However, he was stuck doing it and he did not like it. The moment they arrived at the hospital, Matthew was rushed into some room or another and he was left to fill out paperwork. The paperwork only managed to occupy five minutes of his time and then he was left to ponder.

He didn't like waiting for many different reasons. For starters, he felt as though he was wasting valuable time. He also felt completely and utterly useless. Waiting also made him reflect and during a situation such as this one, he did not want to reflect on what happened for one simple reason. It was his fault.

Matthew didn't ask to go to the lake and Gilbert could have easily done the picnic at home. But no, he had to be sophisticated enough to decide that the lake would be better. And then he had to be stupid enough to challenge the younger man. First of all, Gilbert should have known that even though Matthew was a quiet man, he never backed away from a challenge. Second of all, he should have known that the moment Matthew did not resurface, something was wrong.

But Gilbert was a stupid man who didn't think about that and instead he had laughed until he saw the blood. The memory of the coppery substance rising to the surface of the water sent a shiver running down his spine. He got up from his metal chair and started pacing. He had to do something, anything, or else he'd lose it.

The only thing that kept him from snapping someone's neck was the fact that the wound on Matthew's head wasn't deep and that at least he got his lover to start breathing again. A simple patch up job would do the trick and everything would be alright. At least, he hoped so.

As he paced, his mind started to think of the worst possible scenarios of what could happen to Matthew. The most gruesome of them all was his death. Gilbert knew for a fact that if that was to happen, he would never be able to forgive himself for the pain that he would have brought on to Matthew's family.

Matthew, his twin brother; Alfred, and their older brother Arthur lost both of their parents in a terrible car accident some nineteen years ago and the loss was still present in their lives. Gilbert firmly believed that if Matthew was to die; it would be the end of Arthur.

He had to stop being so pessimistic.

Gilbert hoped that everything would turn out for the best, but after the first hour and a half went by and the doctor did not come out of the room, he knew that something was wrong. He tried to abstain himself from storming into the room, but his patience was getting scarce.

Finally, just as he was about to get up and go and ask someone why it was taking so damn long, the doctor finally walked out. Gilbert was going to jump out of his chair and run to the woman, but when he saw her face, he stopped midway from rising to sit back down. This didn't look good.

"Doc, how is he?" He asked after swallowing thickly. The doctor gave him a small sad smile and Gilbert could tell from the doctor's eyes that he wouldn't like what she had to say.

"There is good news and there is bad news." She started off. Gilbert got up from his chair so that he could look at her in the eyes. He didn't like being looked down on.

"We managed to stop the bleeding on Mr. Williams head. The wound wasn't too deep, but the fall may have caused some brain damage due to the impact of the shock. We can only find out once he wakes up. He also isn't breathing on his own so he's been attached to a machine that will help him." Gilbert felt his world slowly crumbling on all sides and fell back into his chair. The doctor put a hand to his shoulder and he looked up into her eyes.

"Wh-what does it mean? Will he make it?"

"Only time will tell at this point." She told him softly. "I'm sorry, sir, are you close to him?" Gilbert would have liked to tell her that Matthew was his fiancé, but he never even got the chance to propose. He sighed.

"He's my lover." He replied after a moment.

"Oh." The doctor didn't seem too sure how to respond to that.

"Can I, I mean, is it okay if I visit him?" The doctor glanced at the room and then back at the man in front of her. There was something else that she didn't tell him and she didn't want to crush this poor man even more, but it was her job.

"I suppose you can, but I must warn you, it may take a while before Mr. Williams wakes up." Gilbert gave her a puzzled look.

"Is it because of the head injury?" He asked.

"No. Sir, I'm afraid Mr. Williams has slipped into a coma. It can take days, maybe even weeks before he wakes up. I'm truly sorry. Would you still like to visit him?"

Gilbert would not recall how he got to the room, but the only thing he would remember would be of nodding and then finding himself in the room where they brought the man he cared for so very much and in that moment, he knew that everything was forever changed.

**OWARI 2**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Oh, more drama! Who knows what will happen next, I'm not even sure.**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: April 9th 2010, 9:45am**

**Finished writing: April 9th 2010, 12:43pm**

**Started typing: April 20th 2010, 5:14pm**

**Finished typing: April 20th 2010, 6:35pm**


	3. Called

**Breathe Anew**

**Called**

**I'm still in shock over the reception of this story. I mean, you guys like it that much? Well, wow!**

**Finally, some new material that wasn't in that COLT chapter and this chapter is longer than the last two. Guys, I have so many ideas for this story, it's scary!**

**Disclaimer: I wish I had more time to write.**

Breathe Anew

Called

The moment he walked into the room, he felt as though someone pulled the rug from under his feet. For all the years that he had known Matthew, he never saw him look so frail. Sure there was that one time when he had fractured his ankle after a hockey game, or that other time when he needed stitches on his eyebrow, but at least Matthew had been awake and joking around with him.

This was too different. Matthew was plugged in way too many machines and there were too many tubes to count that were sticking out of his arms. There was a white gauze bandage wrapped tightly around his head and Gilbert didn't like the slow rhythm of his breathing. It wasn't regular.

He took three steps and was by his partner's side in a heartbeat. He took the metal chair that was close by and placed it by the cot, before sitting down and taking the other man's hand in his own. Gilbert noticed that it wasn't as warm as it usually was and it only made his heart constrict more. He was silent for a moment before he started apologizing for everything and anything that he had ever done.

"It's my fault, Matt, I'm sorry, I shouldn't have brought you to the lake, I shouldn't have-please, wake up, liebling, please, just breathe again, Matt, wake up, I don't think I could forgive myself if you don't. Come on, love, please, don't let them take you away, think of your brothers, think of us. Please, Matt, please, just open your eyes again." He whispered over and over. He didn't know when he started, but at some point, tears spilled from his eyes onto Matthew's hand which he clasped in his own hands.

Gilbert continued quietly sobbing and whispering confessions to the younger man all night long until he fell asleep with his head resting by Matthew's limp arm.

* * *

The following morning, he woke up to the greatest discomfort in his neck and lower back. For a moment, he was disoriented and wondered if he fell asleep in the study while doing some work for the job, however when he raised his head and saw the arm that was in front of him that had a multitude of tubes sticking out of it, the events of the previous day came rushing back to him. He took in a shaky breath before getting up and stretching the kinks out of his sore back. What was he supposed to do now?

He realized that he hadn't called Arthur or Alfred the day before and as the immediate family, they sort of needed to know. Gilbert was complete rubbish at telling other people bad news and he wasn't looking forward to letting them know that Matthew was in the hospital because of him.

When the nurse came in to check up on Matthew, he excused himself for a moment and went to the reception. He had to make those calls. When he had the phone in his hand, he hesitated for a moment before finally summoning the courage to dial the number. The phone rang twice before it was picked up.

"_Hello?"_

"I need to talk to you." Gilbert simply told him, cutting to the chase.

"_Gilbert? Why are you calling from the hospital? What have you done?"_

"Well, thanks for assuming that I did something." There was an awkward pause between the two of them.

"_Did you?"_ There was another pause.

"_Gilbert, what are you not telling me?"_

"Matthew's in the hospital." This time, it was Arthur who was left speechless.

"_What?"_

"You heard what I said."

"_What have you done?"_

"Are you implying that I hurt him? You should know that I would never do such a thing!"

"_Then what happened?"_ Arthur wanted to know.

"Ill tell you once you get here. Are you going to call Alfred or do I have to do that?"

"_I'll let him know. You have some serious explaining to do, Beilschmidt, and I expect some answers when I get there." _Gilbert concluded his conversation and hung up before returning to Matthew's room. He hoped that he would find his lover awake, but alas the younger man was still in his coma. Gilbert sat down and took Matthew's hand in his own before kissing it lovingly. He was not looking forward to what would happen next.

For some reason, Arthur and he never got along unless they were getting smashed at a bar. From the very first day they met, the older man was suspicious of him and discouraged his brother from frequenting him. Luckily, Matthew didn't listen to Arthur's warnings and continued to see much more of him. Gilbert still didn't know how Matthew managed to convince his brother to let him move in with him, but he wasn't going to complain.

It didn't take too long for the others to arrive. Ten minutes after he called, Arthur, Francis and Alfred came running into the room. They stopped dead in their tracks when they saw Matthew lying still in his cot.

"Is he dead?" Alfred asked breaking the silence.

"I think I would have told you if he died." Gilbert replied calmly.

"What happened? What did you do to my baby brother?" Arthur finally snapped. Francis put a hand on his arm and he calmed down a little. Gilbert then proceeded to explain what happened the previous day. He omitted the part about wanting to propose to Matthew and kept that for himself. He told them what the doctor said and when Arthur heard that Matthew was in a coma, he lost it for good.

"You bastard! I knew I couldn't trust you! I knew you would only be trouble for him! Look what you've done! This is your entire fault! I warned him not to hang around rift raft like you, I warned him, but he didn't listen. He told me that you were a nice person; bollocks! Look what you've done to my family! I'll have you pay!" Arthur lunged himself at the younger man, but luckily, Francis was there to stop him.

"Mon cher, calm down, it is not his fault. S'il te plait, Arthur, do not do anything stupid. This was an accident. It is not as if Gilbert pushed him in or something. Everything will be okay, mon coeur, respire." Francis pulled Arthur to him and wrapped his arms around his back. At first, the shorter man tried to push him away, but after a moment or two, he clutched Francis' shirt tightly in his hands and sobbed uncontrollably. Gilbert had no idea what he was supposed to do next.

**OWARI 3**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**I love this story. I really do. And, oh lookitz! Francis is speaking English in one of my stories for the first time EVER.**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: April 25th 2010, 12:59pm**

**Finished writing: April 25th 2010, 2:22pm**

**Started typing: April 25th 2010, 7:54pm**

**Finished typing: April 25th 2010, 8:41pm**


	4. Observed

**Breathe Anew**

**Observed**

**Since I finished my essay, I figured I could type this chapter up. **

**Disclaimer: Crime, j'ai chaud!**

Breathe Anew

Observed

For the following week that came, Gilbert called the office and took a few days off. They let him take the time, once they heard what happened. Every morning, he would be the first visitor in and he would be the last visitor out. Every day, he hoped that Matthew would wake up and every day, he would be disappointed, but it didn't mean that he lost any hope that the next day would be the day.

During the first week, Arthur was there every afternoon. Whether he was there because he was worried for his brother or whether he was there to make sure that Gilbert was supervised, he did not know, but he was glad that when the week was over, the older man reduced his visits. Arthur still visited frequently, and when he couldn't, he made sure that Francis went.

Gilbert didn't mind Francis. The two of them met one summer in camp and even though Francis was in the older group, the two bonded over their mutual love to wreck havoc for their counsellors. Eventually, Francis became a counsellor of his own and fate had it that Gilbert ended up in his group.

He had no idea how their friendship worked, but it just did. Most of the time, Gilbert never acted his age and had always been brighter than the other children. His mind thought up of plans ten year olds would come up with when he was only seven.

The irony of ironies was that his friend met Arthur through him. Gilbert always teased Matthew's older brother that he either needed to get laid or that he needed to find someone who could match him up with his attitude or something like that. It just so happened that Francis had broken up with his current flame of the month.

Somehow or other, Gilbert hooked the two of them together and they clicked much to the surprise of everyone. He never let Arthur live it down and a month or so after Francis and Arthur became an item, Gilbert feared that he would lose his best friend to the one person who hadn't fallen for his charm, but much to Arthur's chagrin, Francis remained good friends with him. It just served to prove that he was irresistible.

When Francis would come to the hospital, he would help him stretch Matthew's legs and arms. Since he was in a coma for a while now, the nurses had to make sure the younger man's limbs got some exercise, before they completely deteriorated. For the first few days, Gilbert was scared to do it, but now he wouldn't let the hospital staff do it, unless he was not there when it was time for the exercise routine. He arranged his work schedule so that he could visit when it was that time of the day.

Now that Gilbert returned to work, he made sure he came an hour before he started; he always tried to make it at lunch if he didn't have any meetings and then he would return after work, until he was practically kicked out. By now, all the staff knew him and they knew not to mess around with him in regards of Matthew.

As much as Gilbert liked spending time alone with Matthew, since it allowed him to speak the thoughts he kept confined inside of him, he also liked the company of others, every now and then.

Francis never judged him for whatever he did, from the moment they met and to this day, he still didn't. Gilbert felt that he could be completely at ease around the Frenchman and he didn't have to guard himself.

When they would happen to be visiting at the same time, both Francis and he would sit by the hospital bed and talk about trivial little things. Gilbert suspected that his friend prepared a list of topics to keep the conversation flowing, so that Gilbert wouldn't dwell too much on what was going on, but even if he tried to get involved into the conversation; his mind was always thinking of Matthew.

Still, Gilbert appreciated the effort and tried his best to participate actively. Francis would bring up subjects from their past and he would try to avoid mentioning the younger man in their conversations. Gilbert would recall tales from their childhood and after a while, they would return to the matter at hand.

Gilbert would then get up and start the stretching exercises. Francis would watch him for a moment and observe the dedication and patience that his younger friend put into his work. For his sake, he hoped that Matthew would wake up soon.

**OWARI 4**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Not a line of dialogue…**

**I know when Matthew is going to wake up and you don't ~ haha, I'm evil.**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: April 26th 2010, 9:52pm**

**Finished writing: April 27th 2010, 1:20pm**

**Started typing: May 2nd 2010, 2:22pm**

**Finished typing: May 2nd 2010, 2:49pm**


	5. Comforted

**Breathe Anew**

**Comforted**

**I apologize for the delay.**

**Disclaimer: I have none for now.**

Breathe Anew

Comforted

It was already one month and a half since Matthew closed his eyes and didn't reopen them. One month and a half since Gilbert truly smiled. One month and a half of him going in and out of the hospital everyday and trying to convince himself that Matthew would get better, that this was not permanent and that he would get his life back.

As much as Gilbert tried to keep his hopes up and his spirit high, with each passing day, something small in him died and he was forced to start thinking about what would happen if this state would become permanent. Of course, he would stay by Matthew's side throughout the entire ordeal. Even if Matthew turned out to be paraplegic for the rest of his life, he would stay with him. Gilbert wouldn't leave Matthew unless the younger man told him to. And even then…

With each passing day, Gilbert could see his lover slowly deteriorate. It was expected to happen, since the younger man wasn't moving, wasn't eating real food and wasn't getting any fresh air. He was just lying in a bed day in and day out. His hair grew quite a bit and Gilbert had to tell one of the nurses to schedule a haircut of some sorts or something, if that was possible.

Gilbert asked the doctors why a simple little fall was causing this coma and no one really knew. He was extremely upset at first when no one was able to give him a straight answer. They were supposed to know! They were doctors.

One of the doctors' who performed the patch up job on Matthew's head told him that it might have been due to the way he hit his head, but they couldn't be sure. Another said that it was Matthew's mind's way of reacting to the shock. To Gilbert, it only meant that Matthew was still unconscious and that he was constantly plagued by nightmares of his lover never waking up.

At least three times a week, Alfred, Matthew's identical twin brother, would come to visit. As much as the two looked alike, Gilbert never mistook one for the other. His first impression of Alfred was that the younger man was an attention whore who thought highly of himself and liked when things revolved around him.

However, even though those things were all true, Alfred was always willing to help someone out and his heart was at the right place, most of the time. He was obsessed with comic books and called himself a hero ninety-five percent of the time, but once Gilbert got used to those traits of Alfred's personality, he came to tolerate the other brother. They spent half the time they happened to be together provoking and teasing each other into little spats and competitions, but it was just the way their personalities clashed.

Even though Alfred was a loud man who spoke a lot and always seemed to be in a good mood, Gilbert could see that what happened to Matthew was taking its toll on him as well. His smiles didn't reach his eyes and sometimes, he would be silent for moments on end.

Despite how he felt, though, Alfred still came to visit when he could and tried his best to look in a happy mood if Gilbert was there. The older man would listen to Matthew's brother talk about his day or tell some joke or other. Sometimes they would exchange a few words; an anecdote here and there and when they were both feeling the pull of the situation, they would sit side by side in silence. Sometimes, he would pass his arm around Alfred's shoulders and sometimes, Alfred would do the same thing. It was a comforting sign that let the other know that they weren't alone and that they were both hoping for the best.

**OWARI 5**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**And Matthew is still in a coma. I said soon, I just never said when.**

**And you guys will be in one hell of a ride once he wakes up! Oh, yes you will be!**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: May 2nd 2010, 5:11pm**

**Finished writing: May 2nd 2010, 6:37pm**

**Started typing: May 10th 2010, 5:09pm**

**Finished typing: May 10th 2010, 5:31pm**


	6. Considered

**Breathe Anew**

**Considered**

**I am so SORRY that I haven't updated in a long time. I was away and I didn't have a chapter ready. Please forgive me. To be forgiven, this chapter is longer than the others.**

**Also, you must all go and listen to Yellow by Coldplay. Why? Because it is the official song to this story. The lyrics are just so appropriate. **

**Disclaimer: Hold on tight!**

Breathe Anew

Considered

Arthur Kirkland had a pretty decent childhood. Born in England, he moved with his parents when he was six, when his father got a job transfer. He firmly believed that he was a good child and took good care of his two younger brothers.

His life was pretty average. He did well in school, had a few good friends, got along well with his parents and didn't cause too much trouble. Everything was fine until the year he turned seventeen. He was heading home from what they called "soccer" practice here, when he received a call from the hospital, telling him that his parents were in a car crash.

It was from that point on that his life spiralled out of control. In a matter of a few hours, he went from being the eldest son of an average family, who had two loving parents and two younger brothers, to an orphan in charge of his brothers. How was he, a seventeen year old, young man, supposed to take on such responsibility?

Lucky for his sanity, their father's brother helped them out until Arthur graduated from university and got himself a steady job. It was obvious to anyone who knew Arthur prior to the accident that the death of his parents changed him forever.

From being carefree and having an easy smile, he was now cynical and harsh with his words; insult ready at his lips. He tried his best to raise both Matthew and Alfred and provide for them and in retrospect, he did a pretty damn good job.

Sure, they didn't always get along, but they stuck together because they were family and that was what families did.

Arthur made sacrifices in his life for the sake of his brothers and even though he did not regret what he did for them, he sometimes wondered what the outcome would have been if his parents were still around.

Even though he struggled for many years to overcome the death of his parents, he never fully came to terms with it and he became much more protective of his family. He refused to let anyone get close to him and it amazed everyone, even himself, when Francis Bonnefoy waltzed into his life.

But before he could even start to think back about Francis, his mind would recall that it was because of Gilbert, (the asshole Matthew fancied), that he met Francis and that was something else he couldn't come to terms with.

When Matthew first introduced him to Gilbert, he immediately forbade his brother from ever seeing the man again. Matthew got quite upset at that and clearly told him to keep his nose out of his life. It turned into a rather impressive fight.

It wasn't that Arthur had a problem with the fact that Matthew was seeing a man. It was more the man in question that he did not like. Arthur heard things about Gilbert and he just didn't want his baby brother to get his heart broken by that… that scum sucking bottom feeder. He just wanted Matthew to be out of harm's way. How nicely that turned out.

When Gilbert introduced him to Francis, he refused to even meet the Frenchman. In his opinion, anything and everything that was related to Gilbert was either stupid or worthless; hence this Francis fellow was surely a complete and utter fool. In some regards, Francis did fit the description. He was a fool for falling for Arthur.

Their first meeting was nothing short of catastrophic and Arthur was amazed and slightly pleased when Francis called him back the next day to ask for another date.

Even though Francis was hardly what Arthur looked for in a human being, something clicked between them. They spent half their time together bickering and getting on each other's nerves, but it was just their own special way of saying that they cared for each other.

At the end of the day, Francis was always there to comfort him and lend a listening ear for all of Arthur's troubles. Sometimes, he wished that he had known Francis when he was seventeen, but he was thankful that he knew him now with what just happened to Matthew.

Arthur firmly believed that if they weren't already living together, Francis would have permanently moved in with him after they heard of the accident. Every night for the past two months, Arthur would fall asleep on the couch, leaning against Francis and the older man would remain there until his companion woke up in the morning even if he found the position incredibly uncomfortable.

Through the years, Francis became Arthur's greatest friend, his pillar of support and his own personal haven that he could run to when things wouldn't go right with the world. If only it wasn't Gilbert who introduced them, then everything would have been more perfect.

It seemed that now, every problem he had came from the same source for the past seven years. Matthew was always the quiet boy who never got in that much trouble, but once he started seeing Gilbert, he started talking about these big ideas of pursuing strange careers and trying new and dangerous things, such as sky diving and bungee jumping.

His greatest trouble came two months ago when Matthew injured himself and fell in a coma. It was all Gilbert's fault. It was because of Gilbert that Arthur didn't have a decent night's sleep and Gilbert's fault that he was worried sick. He warned Matthew that something bad would happen to him and he was right. Arthur worried that his brother would never wake up and that only aggravated his problems further.

Ever since the accident, Arthur went to the hospital at least four times a week. He went on the weekends and on his day off. Sometimes, when he didn't have a lot of work, he would come on another day.

Arthur tried his best to come when Gilbert wasn't there, but that was a difficult task considering that the other man was there every day, thrice a day. If anything, Arthur could admit that he was devoted, for now.

Whenever the two of them would be there at the same time, Gilbert would be seated on the side he always sat on, and Arthur would take the seat closest to the door. The two would acknowledge each other with a brief nod before Arthur would take his place. After that, the two of them would glare at each other. Gilbert would continuously hold on to Matthew's hand and Arthur could see in his eyes the look of worry and love that was there.

They would rarely exchange words since Arthur still believed that it was Gilbert's fault for what happened and Gilbert didn't want to talk to Arthur if he could avoid it.

In the end though, no matter how much Arthur hoped that Gilbert would tire himself of Matthew and not show up one morning, or simply leave, every time, Gilbert was there. He would have to deal with it for the time being.

**OWARI 6**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Whee, I'm done!**

**This chapter is special because I started and ended it in Vincent land.**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: May 20th 2010, 2:48pm**

**Finished writing: May 20th 2010, 11:11pm**

**Started typing: May 23rd 2010, 3:52pm**

**Finished typing: May 23rd 2010, 4:43pm**


	7. Dejected

**Breathe Anew**

**Dejected**

**Bonjour everyone! I was going to update this story this weekend, but then I was away for it, so instead I am updating on Monday. Please find it in your hearts to forgive me.**

**Oh, this is the seventh chapter! This is exciting.**

**Disclaimer: Some of you are really good at guessing. However, there are twists that you won't even see coming. **

**Ah, and this chapter is the chapter that derived from the COLT chapter called "Breathe Again". As I was writing that chapter, I got this idea in this chapter. (Well, one part in it).**

Breathe Anew

Dejected

Gilbert woke up that morning in his flat to find the place empty like it had been for the past two and a half months. He dressed for the day, ate a quick breakfast before driving to the hospital. It was a clear Saturday and the weekend promised to be decent. He was hoping the weather man was right so that he could do some gardening, since Matthew wasn't around. The man sighed at the thought of his almost fiancé.

Sometimes, Gilbert wanted to give up, in the hopes that it would make his life easier, but deep down, he knew that he wouldn't be able to let Matthew down or even remove him from his life.

When he arrived at the hospital, he parked his car in his usual spot and made his way to the third floor. It was sad that the staff knew him by name now and that he got to know them in return. It's not that they were bad people, but it was just testament to the amount of time he spent here watching over his sleeping angel.

"Ah, Mr. Beilschmidt, I'm glad you're here." The head nurse told him when he happened to walk by him. Gilbert stopped to greet him.

"Any changes?" The nurse knew what he was referring to and Gilbert watched as different emotions played on the man's face.

"Well, actually, yes, we tried calling you this morning, but you must have been already out." Gilbert's heart started racing.

"Mr. Williams has awakened, but I-" Gilbert didn't let him finish his sentence that he started running towards Matthew's room. He felt overjoyed. Matthew, his beloved Matthew, finally won against the coma! Everything would be fine now. Their lives could go back to where they were. He could apologize for being reckless and all would be well again.

When he got to the room, he didn't hesitate to open the door and walk to Matthew's bedside. The younger man seemed to be resting, but Gilbert didn't care and enveloped him into as tight of an embrace as he could.

"Gott, Matt, you had me scared there for a moment. I'm – I'm so glad you're okay. I'm sorry, Birdie, I'm sorry for everything. It's good to have you back." He tried hard not to sob, but he was finding it harder and harder. He continued hugging his lover until he felt a hand awkwardly pull at his shirt. Gilbert pulled away to look at Matthew.

"Mattie, I…"

"Eum…, excuse me sir, who are you?" Gilbert's eyes went wide as he let go and pulled back completely. This… this couldn't possibly be happening. This was all a joke. A little payback from Matthew.

"It's me, Gilbert, I'm your b-"

"Best friend!" The nurse said as he ran in. "He's your best friend and he's been worrying over you for the past two and a half months, Mr. Williams." Gilbert looked shocked as he stared from the nurse to his lover and back.

"Oh, eum, well, that's very kind of you, sir. I'm sorry for having troubled you so much." Gilbert didn't know what to do or say. He slowly got up, before backing away from the bed and trying to run out of the room, but the nurse impeded him from doing so.

"Mr. Beilschmidt, please come with me, I need to talk to you." Gilbert let himself get guided to the doctor's office. He stole a glance at Matthew's room and saw the younger man give him a confused look.

When he was seated in the chair, the nurse brought the doctor in and the three of them sat down. Gilbert recognized the doctor as the woman he saw two and a half months ago, on the day of the fatal accident.

"What's – what's the meaning of this?" He finally asked out.

"I tried warning you, Mr. Beilschmidt, but when Mr. Williams woke up this morning, we found out that not all of his memories came back to him." The nurse started off. Gilbert looked at the doctor, who nodded sadly.

"We performed some tests on him, nothing major, just asking him some simple questions. He knew who he was, knew where he worked, what school he went to, he remembered his brothers, the car accident… he remembers everything, which is remarkable, but when we asked about you; nothing. It's strange because it seems as though anything that involves you he doesn't remember." Gilbert felt as though he was punched in the stomach.

"Why can't – why didn't he let me tell Matthew who I was?" He asked as he glared at both the doctor and the nurse. He felt angry. He was angry at himself, angry at the doctor, angry at the nurse and angry at Matthew for forgetting him.

"Because of the tight relationship you have with Mr. Williams, we fear that if we tell him everything right away, he could potentially have a relapse. We've seen it happen before and we want to avoid that." The doctor told him. Gilbert felt numb. He was hearing words, but he felt as though he was living them through someone else. This… this was not happening. This was all a bad dream.

"Will he ever – I mean, is he going to remember?" Gilbert could feel the tears coming to his eyes. What if Matthew never remembered him? What was he supposed to do then? He wouldn't be able to forget Matthew and move on. Not after knowing him for seven years.

"Eventually, he will, but it can take many years. You will have to be patient, these things take time. We're sorry. This wasn't the type of news you were expecting to hear, I'm sure." The doctor and the nurse both gave him an apologetic smile and Gilbert buried his face in his hands. His entire world, his hopes and dreams, just shattered into a million tiny pieces, but he had to be strong, somehow, he had to keep his head above water and be there for Matthew, even if it meant sacrificing their past.

**OWARI 7**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Don't kill me, please… **

**So, basically, Matthew's first line of dialogue was the line my brain threw at me when I was writing that COLT chapter. Look at what it spawned!**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: May 24th 2010, 1:45am**

**Finished writing: May 24th 2010, 2:38am**

**Started typing: May 31st 2010, 12:26pm**

**Finished typing: May 31st 2010, 12:53pm**


	8. Decided

**Breathe Anew**

**Decided**

**Goodness, a landslide of reviews for the last chapter! I was pleasantly surprised. **

**You guys are going to hate me, but don't worry, NO ONE DIES.**

**Disclaimer: Hey, this is a REALLY long chapter and pity buckets are on the way in.**

Breathe Anew

Decided

Gilbert was still trying to digest the news that he was told. The doctor and the nurse gave him some time alone, until he was ready to further discuss with them about the next step in regards to Matthew. He stayed in the doctor's office for another ten minutes before getting up and heading towards Matthew's room. He was going to apologize for his rude exit earlier, but before he even had a chance to get there, he was intercepted by Francis and Arthur.

"I see they figured they would tell you the news as well?" He heard Arthur hiss out at him from behind. Gilbert paused and turned around.

"If by news you mean the fact that Matthew woke up, then yes, they did call me to share the good news, but I was already here." He spat out at the shorter man. Gilbert needed something to distract himself from his emotions and Arthur was the perfect target.

"I'm surprised you're still here considering everything that happened, I would have thought that you would have picked up and left already."

"Well, you thought wrong then. I was just on my way to say goodbye to Matthew as a matter of fact." Arthur smirked and he realized too late how that sentence could be wrongly interpreted.

"Really now? You've finally decided to leave? I guess with my brother forgetting about you, you're taking this opportunity to flee? Well, in that case, bon voyage and no need to return; you're saving me the trouble." Gilbert could feel his blood boil. Arthur was asking for it.

"Wow, you're really stupid if you could even think for a minute that I'm leaving Matthew behind for good. It's about time you get it through your thick head that your brother loves me and I'm here to stay." The Englishman laughed richly at that.

"Really now? And, please, enlighten me, what will you do now? Hmm? What will you do with a man that doesn't even remember your name?" Gilbert had nothing to say to that and it only made Arthur goad more.

"That's right, there's nothing you can do. Because of that and since we're all standing here together, I would like you to place Matthew's things in boxes so that Francis can come and pick them up over the course of the week." This time, both Gilbert and Francis looked surprised and shocked by the news.

"Arthur, de quoi parles-tu?"/ _"Arthur, what are you talking about?" _Francis asked his partner.

"We talked about this, Francis. We'll be speaking to the doctor about Matthew's new permanent residence. Since he doesn't remember you, it's only natural that he comes and lives with his family, people who actually love him and that he remembers.

See here Gilbert, see what's happening? I've been given a second chance to protect my brother from the likes of you and you'll be sure that I'm not going to let this chance pass. You've been trouble from the very beginning and I won't let Matthew get involved with you ever again." Gilbert was trying to control his emotions, but he was finding it increasingly difficult to hold back the tears that were threatening to fall.

"For the love of God Arthur, when have I ever done anything wrong to you or your family? I didn't kill your parents! I didn't even know any of you at the time of the accident. Isn't it enough that Matt doesn't remember me, but you want to take him away from me as well? He used to love me. What's the big problem with having him come back to the place he called home?" Arthur slapped him hard across the face.

"Arthur, calm down!" Francis tried to restrain the younger man, but to no avail.

"No, Francis, let me go!" Arthur wiggled himself free and walked to where he was standing.

"Don't you dare. Don't you EVER dare mention my parents to me, EVER. That's one thing and do you really think I would let my brother live with a perfect stranger? How stupid do you think I am? I wouldn't trust you with my pet dog if I had one and you expect me to let Matthew come live under the same roof?"

"Well he was doing fine before; I don't see the problem now!"

"Goodness, you really are daft. Let me put this in clear enough terms so that you may comprehend. I am, under no circumstances, letting you anywhere near my brother anymore. I've heard of what you've done in the past. I know of your conquests and the things you've done with Francis, when the two of you were younger. I can only start to imagine what atrocities you put my poor brother through. I always did say that the boy was too good for his own well being.

If I have to put a restraining order on you, then so help me, I will. Tell me Gilbert, what will you do when your sexual addiction kicks in? Hmm? What will you do when my brother isn't there to satisfy your every little sick pleasure? Will you just push him to the ground like the animal you are and rape him? Will you assault him while he sleeps innocently? And what if he refuses you? Then what? Will you force him into something he no longer feels like giving you? Well, let me tell you this, sunshine, you can find some other way to satisfy yourself, for I'm keeping my brother with me and I-"

"Arthur, ça suffit!"/ _"Arthur, that's enough!" _Francis finally snapped and slapped Arthur in return. The shorter man put a hand to his face and his eyes widened in shock at the Frenchman. Gilbert, who was on the verge of falling to the ground and never getting up from it, turned his head to look at his friend.

"Don't you think that it is pushing it too far? This is low, Arthur; he has not done anything wrong to Mathieu. Now we can all discuss about this, like grown men, or we can continue acting like children. It's your call, Arthur."

"Stay out of this, Francis! You have no idea what it's been like for me, these past months, worrying over Matthew because of this fucking idiot! Because of this scum! He's finally getting what he deserves. For a change, he can suffer! I'm fed up of being the only one who ever gets hurt!" Arthur yelled. There was a look of pure hatred coming from his eyes and Gilbert could feel the venom seeping from them.

"Then fine! Take him away. Make believe that I haven't done my hardest over these past seven years to make Matthew happy. Just take my feelings and step on them if you want to, but it won't change how I feel about him! If it makes you happy, then just go, go and do whatever you need to, but I'm tired of dealing with this shit, Arthur. I'm fucking fed up.

I have no idea what I've done to you, but I'm sorry, okay? I'm sorry for breathing your air, I'm sorry for being in your way, but I'll never be sorry for loving Matthew." With a cold glare at the shorter man, Gilbert turned on his heels and walked away. He turned the corner when he got the chance and made his way to the roof of the hospital.

It became a regular place that he visited over the past months. It allowed him time to think. The quiet solitude helped him make some sense of his jumbled thoughts and his mixed emotions. It was exactly what he needed at the present moment. He walked to the edge of the building and looked at the scenery around him.

The hospital was next to a lake of some sorts and a surrounding park. From his spot on the roof, he could see the tree tops and the water up in front of him. He put his hands on the railing and looked at the calm surroundings.

He sighed to himself and put a hand in his pocket. He frowned when he felt a little box in it. He pulled it out and sighed, once more, when he saw what it was. He almost forgot about the ring that he brought with him, each day, for the past two months and a half in the hopes of getting to propose to Matthew, once he woke up. A whole lot of good it was going to do, now that Matthew didn't even remember him. He glared at the small object in his hand.

"It's all your fault, you hear? It's your Goddamn fault! If I didn't want to propose to Matt, none of this shit would have happened. I hate you! I hope you never bother me ever again!" He closed his hand around the platinum band with their initials inside, garnet on one side and ruby on the other on the outside, pulled his arm back as far as he could before swinging it forward, opening his palm and watching the small speck of light disappear in the water.

He let the box drop to the floor and felt his knees give out around the same time he heard the door that lead to the staircase close. He put his head on his folded knees and hoped that whoever was there would leave him alone.

"Oh, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to intrude." Gilbert raised his head ever so slightly, when he heard Matthew's voice. He wasn't sure if he was pleased or angry to see him.

"Listen, if you want to be left alone, I'll leave. I just wanted to let you know one thing." Matthew waited for a moment and when he didn't say anything, the younger man went on. "The doctor and the nurse told me everything that you've done for me. I really appreciate it and I'm sorry for causing you such pain." Gilbert looked into his eyes, disbelief written all over his face.

"If I may be so bold as to ask, what are you doing up here all alone?"

"I'm throwing away my past." Gilbert looked away from those amethyst orbs he came to love and instead focused on a point on the horizon. Matthew fell silent besides him.

"Would you like me to leave? I'd hate to interrupt on something private." As much as Gilbert wanted to have Matthew here with him, he needed to be alone right now.

"Please." He told the younger man, his eyes not leaving the water where the ring landed. He could guess Matthew nodding his head and quietly making his way back to his room.

Once he was gone, Gilbert let out a shuddering breath and let his emotions finally claim over his body. The tears he was holding back from the start, he felt them spill over on his face as great sobs wracked through his body, coming from the depths of his soul. He let everything wash over him, until he faintly heard the door click shut one moment and felt an arm being placed around his shoulders pulling him into a warm body the next. Gilbert didn't even need to look up to know who it was.

"Francis, what am I supposed to do now?" He asked as he buried his face in his friend's neck, feeling the soft silk of his shirt.

"Tu dois rester fort, mon ami, pour lui."/ _"You have to stay strong, my friend, for him." _Gilbert didn't answer to that and let his friend rub soothing circles on his back. For a moment, he was six again and he just fell off the monkey bars, scrapping his knee on the floor and Francis, his best friend from the older group, was there. Gilbert continued silently shedding tears for a moment longer until he finally claimed control of his emotions once more.

"I am sorry for Arthur's behaviour." Francis started when he wiped away the last of his tears away.

"Don't. It's not for you to apologize." Gilbert interjected.

"Non, I feel that I must, Gilbert. What he said to you is unacceptable. I know that he has been through a lot, but there are things that you simply cannot say to others and for that, I apologize." Francis paused. "It has been a while, since the two of us disagreed on something, but I had to put my foot down for this. Do not worry about a thing; you have enough on your plate." Gilbert nodded. He wasn't quite sure what else to say.

"Listen, I finally got Arthur to calm down. I am not saying that he will listen to you, but I got him to promise that he would behave. He said we would go see the doctor together and see what she says. It is about as good as it is going to get." Gilbert remained silent for a moment longer.

"D'you think I have a chance? I mean, d'you think the doctor will let me bring Matthew home?" He finally asked the question that was on his mind for the past hour.

"If you do, and I think you will, you will have to make sacrifices and changes in your life. You will have to prove to the doctor and to Arthur that you are willing to go to any length to help Mathieu."

"What are you talking about?" Gilbert wasn't sure he was on the same page as his friend.

"This will take a lot of your will, but you must start from the very beginning. Mathieu thinks that you are his best friend. That means that he will have to have his own bedroom. Anything from photographs to I do not know what is going to have to be put away. You will have to make your place look as though it is the home of two friends living together and not two lovers."

"I can't, that's impossible! I can't possibly do that." How was he supposed to put all of that behind? How was he supposed to turn a blind eye to seven years of happiness?

"S'il te plait, Gilbert, essaye de comprendre! I know this seems difficult, but it is the only way. At least you would have Mathieu in your house and you could help him remember. If you are really meant to be, then things will work out for you in the end."/ _"Please, Gilbert, try to understand!" _His friend told him softly. Gilbert wanted to trust Francis, but it was so very difficult. He had woken up this morning, feeling positive about the day and now, he was facing situations he never thought he would ever encounter.

"Do it for Mathieu, if not for you." Gilbert sighed. Francis was right. He had to count whichever blessings he could get. He should be thankful that Matthew was alive and awake now and that he could at least hold a conversation with him.

"Écoute, we will be waiting for you in the doctor's office. I will tell them that you will be down shortly. Take all the time you need to sort through your thoughts and when you're ready, come and join us." Francis ruffled his hair, before leaving him alone, once more.

Gilbert ended up staying on the roof for another five minutes, before getting his act together and joining both Arthur and Francis in the doctor's office. Arthur completely ignored him and he was fine with that. He preferred a silent Arthur to a nagging one any day.

"Well doctor, you know why we're here. Please, tell us, where do you feel it would be fit for Matthew to stay?" Arthur asked. Even though he looked cool and composed, Gilbert could see the seething rage directed at him and the ready at hand smirk for when the news would be delivered in his favour.

"I've thought about it long and hard and I honestly think that if certain precautions are taken, then Mr. Williams should be able to go back to his home, with Mr. Beilschmidt, as long as we stick with the fact that the two of you are friends, for now." Arthur looked as though Christmas got cancelled, while he started to dare to hope again.

"Really?" He asked just to make sure that he heard right.

"Yes, really." The doctor replied with a small smile.

"But, doctor, I thought because of the close relationship, it would overwhelm my brother and cause him to relapse." Arthur tried to get the doctor to change her mind, but it didn't work.

"True, but bringing him in a familiar environment, provided that things and objects from your relationship get turned down to a bare minimum, will help him remember. I'm sorry Mr. Kirkland, but my decision is final." Arthur glared at her for a moment, before he resigned himself.

"Fine then." He replied curtly, before he stomped out of the office. The doctor excused herself to go check up on her other patients and left Gilbert with his friend.

"Tu vois, I told you things would turn up for you." Gilbert allowed himself a small smile. The first in what he felt was a really long time.

"You were right. And thanks, for everything, Francis." Francis smiled at him softly in return.

"Y'a pas de quoi, mon ami. If you need any help this weekend re-arranging your place, give me a call. I would be more than happy to help you with anything."/ _"It was nothing, my friend."_

"I will." The two of them waved at each other and Francis left to run after Arthur. Gilbert sighed to himself and passed a hand through his dishevelled silver hair. He had a lot to do over the next few days, but somehow, he had to stay strong. He felt as though this was only the beginning of what would turn out to be a very trying period for him.

But as Francis told him, he had to keep his head above water, if not for him, then for Matthew, because the younger man would most certainly need his "best friend" to guide him into this new environment, where he wouldn't remember him. But that was okay for now. There was no need to rush. One step at a time, nice and easy would do it.

**OWARI 8**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Don't hate me. Arthur was really fun to write. I love the dynamics between them and the ones between Gilbert and Francis.**

**Question one: I made a FST for this verse, would you guys like me to share? If so, let me know.**

**GOODNESS, LONG CHAPTER IS LONG!**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: June 2nd 2010, 8:12pm**

**Finished writing: June 3rd 2010, 12:42am**

**Started typing: June 9th 2010, 1:24pm**

**Finished typing: June 9th 2010, 3:02pm**


	9. Changed

**Breathe Anew**

**Changed**

**Goodness! When the hell was the last time I updated this? Ugh, I'm sorry. This is a pretty awesome chapter too. Enjoy? I apologize if my updating goes down a bit, work started again and I'm already drained. **

**Characters: Someone else makes an appearance!**

Breathe Anew

Changed

Gilbert ended up spending a few more minutes at the hospital, before saying bye to Matthew and going back to his place. He took a good look around his condo, before he took out a dozen of boxes and a good case of beer. He knew that the only way he would ever get through the cleaning that awaited him would be with alcohol in his system.

He started off with the main floor and it took him two beers before he actually removed the first picture frame and put it in a box. The dining room was a fairly easy room to do, all things considered. It only had five pictures of them on a small table. Gilbert found out that if he didn't look at the pictures, it was easier to deal with.

The kitchen was pretty much the same until he reached the cupboard where they kept their mugs. There was one mug that was a gift to him some three years ago that was hand painted by the two of them. The memories the mug held were dear to him and he didn't even know why he had to remove it, but he did.

By the time he reached the living room, six beers were consumed and somewhere along the line, tears started running freely on his face. He could only imagine what it would be like, once he would go upstairs.

The main floor was mostly filled with even more pictures and other little mementos of their time together. He only kept one of those many picture frames on the coffee table, since it showed them simply drinking beer and holding on to a massive trout. They went fishing one spring, a while back. Friends went fishing and if someone had something to tell him, then they could shove it up their ass.

He also left a hat and a scarf that he got Matthew in the closet; since he doubted that it would show that they were lovers. He tried making his way upstairs to clean up, but he couldn't make it past the third step, before he fell down in a heap of sobs.

That night, he didn't manage to sleep in his bedroom and he passed out drunk on the living room couch. He was awakened the following morning by a very persistent person knocking at the door.

"Fuck off!" He yelled out as he tried to cover his ears, but failed miserably. Either the nuisance did not hear him or they were dumb, but they continued knocking until he finally got up and made his way to the door. He was slightly surprised by who he found on the other side.

"I shoulda known you wouldn't leave me to my misery alone." He slurred out when he saw the mop of blonde hair atop of Francis' head.

"Well, you were not answering your calls last night and I was getting worried. I figured you could use some help and support from your friends." Gilbert looking up at him and he wasn't sure he fully understood what he was being told.

"Regarde qui est venu te rendre visite."/ _"Look who came to visit you."_ Francis moved aside to reveal a slightly shorter man with brown wavy hair, tanned skin and bright green eyes that went with his ever present smile.

"Holy shit, Tony? What the fuck are you doing here? I thought you were busy bending over for your lover down in South Italy!" Gilbert couldn't help but smile as he hugged his friend tightly. It was far too long since he saw the man.

Antonio, or shortly abbreviated to Tony and the two of them met on a camp outing. Antonio went to a different camp, but the three bonded over a game of laser tag and became inseparable.

His other friend was a year younger than Francis and of Spanish decent. He never saw his country of origin, but his mother abandoned him with his father shortly after his third birthday to go back to Spain. Antonio finally left himself for Spain one day, on a whim, after getting into an argument with his father and his step-brother, one Andrès Soàres, who he never got along with, from the moment they met. There was more to the argument, but Antonio preferred not to talk of it and Gilbert and Francis left it at that.

They didn't hear from Antonio for over a year, until he sent them both a letter explaining that he needed some time to figure things out and that he was sorry for treating them badly. By then, he found himself a small house with a bit of land and started his own tomato farm in the village where his mother was born.

That was when he had met the Southern Italian man and despite their rocky start, they were still going strong. He then followed the younger man to his own country and the last Gilbert heard; Antonio and Lovino were still living in Italy.

"Ah, mi amigo, you always had such a way with words!" The Spaniard told him patting him on the back and returning the hug.

"I left Lovino back home when Francis called. I knew that you needed me, so I came here as fast as the plane could." The three of them laughed. "I'm sorry for what happened to Matthew. Francis and I figured we could come and give you a hand with the clean up." Antonio told him with his bright smile that always managed to cheer him up.

"You guys are crazy, but sure, c'me in." Gilbert moved aside and let the two other men walk in to his place. Francis walked around the main floor, almost as if inspecting the condo.

"Relax Fran, I put everything on this floor away already and if you're spying for Arthur, you can tell him that I've put away all of my super evil tools of torture away, as well." Gilbert was sure that it would have gotten at least a laugh out of the older man, but Francis' smile was strained and Antonio looked away.

"Okay, what did I miss?"

"Ah, it's nothing for you to worry about. Let us just say that Arthur and I have not spoken to each other since that little argument at the hospital. I almost forgot what it was like to sleep on a couch. Mais bon, it is not the end of the world." He could tell that it actually did bother him and he felt bad for his friend.

"Listen, Francis, I'm sorry, I didn't know, man." The Frenchman stopped him with a gesture of his hand.

"Ne t'inquiètes pas pour moi. Arthur is going through a lot right now and he needs to sort through his own emotions. He will come around in due time. Now, how about we quit wallowing in our own self-pity and make this une bonne session de ménage?"/ _"Don't worry about me. … a good cleaning session?" _ They nodded their heads, grabbed some boxes and made their way upstairs.

With the help of his friends, he was able to fix up the guestroom/study and change it into Matthew's room. They moved the younger man's clothes and possessions from the master bedroom to the slightly smaller room and in a matter of a few hours; the room looked as though Matthew always slept there. Gilbert was both pleased, but at the same time, it pained him much.

His friends noticed his sudden mood drop and they were quick to help him change ideas. They exchanged anecdotes from their past and it helped him some. The last room, their room, turned out to be the hardest of them all and he had to excuse himself more than once.

The bedroom was a real testament to their life as a couple and with everything that was put away, something inside of him withered slowly. From little hand-written notes, to more pictures, intimate little things and objects that only they could, used to, be able to make sense of, to their shared closet and dressers now only holding his things, he felt as though half of him was put away on a shelf, in the attic, in a matter of moments.

But eventually, after Francis opened up one, or two, or maybe even three of the bottles of wine, the last of his and Matthew's life together was boxed away for good. Antonio removed the frame he left downstairs and it took much convincing from the two older men that it was a good decision.

However, Gilbert drew the line when Francis came to pick up a little frame that was left on the night table. He left it there for a reason, mostly because it was his very favourite picture of the two of them, but also because he couldn't bring himself to live this lie and play the charade.

"Gilbert… we have been through this before. Everything needs to be put away. It is for Mathieu's own good." Francis told him calmly, but he didn't want to hear a word of what his friend had to tell him, not this time.

"It's one picture and it's staying in my room where Matt will probably never set foot in. I let you take down everything else, but please, let me keep this one. It's the only thing I have left." He didn't like pleading or begging, but sometimes, he had no choice. He could see his friend's resolve slowly cracking, until he finally relented.

"D'accord, but do be careful." Gilbert nodded absentmindedly and the remainder of the day was spent downstairs, in the living room, far away from the room, playing video games and drinking, acting like the mature adults that they were.

* * *

The rest of the weekend went by without anything of great importance happening. Antonio and Francis ended up crashing at his place and once Monday morning came, his living room looked like World War II happened. For a moment, he wondered what Matthew would say to it, but then he remembered that he was only going to pick up his "best friend" the following day, so he cleaned up a bit.

By Tuesday, he got up bright and early and drove to the hospital. Truth be told, he was nervous. He was nervous that he would screw something up and make things worse instead of better. He was so caught up in his thoughts that he didn't even realize that he made it to the hospital.

He quickly dried his palms on his pants before walking to Matthew's room; a room he wished he would never have to set foot in ever again. Matthew was dressed and sitting on the bed with the nurse talking to him. This was it, he supposed. He knocked softly on the door and the men turned to look at him.

"Well hello there, Mr. Beilschmidt. It's nice to see you." The dark skinned man told him.

"Likewise, Claude."

"Well then, Mr. Williams, I judge that you are in good hands. I hope to see the two of you under better circumstances next time." Claude waved them goodbye and then left them alone. There was a heavy silence in the room. Gilbert couldn't remember the last time he was in such a situation with Matthew before. It definitively felt unfamiliar.

"So, eum, you ready to go?" He finally asked.

"Yes, I guess there's no sense in staying here." Gilbert took his small suitcase with his personal belongings as Matthew got up and stumbled on his unsteady footing.

"Watch yourself, Birdie, here, grab my arm." He put the younger man's arm around his own and even though it was nothing more than that, it felt good to feel Matthew by his side. He missed the little touches and hugs.

"Do you live, I mean, do we live far from here?" Matthew asked, trying to make small talk conversation. Gilbert appreciated the effort.

"No, only fifteen, twenty minutes away." The other nodded his head as they made their way to the car. In the beginning, they were both silent. Gilbert was thankful for the radio, but he could feel Matthew staring at him with a small frown, almost as if something was bothering him.

"You know, you can ask me anything you want, I won't bite." He said after a while.

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable." He paused. "It's just, it's infuriating. You're the only one I can't remember, I feel kind of stupid." Matthew sighed out.

"Don't, it's not your fault." _It's mine. _He added as a silent memento to himself.

"Could you, eum, well, could you tell me about yourself? That way I'll know something more." Gilbert almost wanted to laugh. Almost.

"Sure, well, let's see I work as a Public Relations manager for a company, but I also do some freelance on the side. That's how I started, really. I like sleeping in, I like beer, I'm not a morning person, I liked coming to see you play hockey on Saturday mornings and going for coffee afterwards." He started off. The last mention seemed to catch Matthew's interest.

"Really? Do you play? Maybe we could do some one-on-one someday!" Gilbert tried not to let his sadness appear in his smile.

"Sure, that would be great." _But you were the one who taught me how to skate and play…_ His mind recalled with ease his first few times on the ice. How Matthew skated with grace on the side, but he was patient with him until he became semi-decent.

"Anything else you wish to know?" He asked to distract his thoughts.

"What's your family like?"

"I have a younger brother; he's about your age. My parents' moved back to Germany. My mom missed it too much and Dad got a job transfer there. Ludwig and I are happy here, so we didn't go with them. Anyways, here we are, home sweet home." Gilbert turned the car off and remained in the vehicle for a moment longer.

"I really lived here for two years with you?" Matthew asked after a moment as he looked at the building in front of them.

"Yup, those two years certainly went by fast." In truth, it was more like three years, but it wasn't official before that. It was more like Matthew often stayed at his place until they talked it over one night.

"Do I get a grand tour?" Gilbert blinked and focused his attention back on to Matthew. He supposed a grand tour was in need. He nodded, grabbed the bag from the back and the two walked to the front door.

Gilbert was ever the patient man and walked around the place showing Matthew where everything was. It was strange how the younger man recognized his belongings such as shirts and pants, cell phone and game console, but when he found a book and a scarf that Gilbert got him, he couldn't remember ever seeing them before. It infuriated the both of them.

When they got to Matthew's bedroom, Gilbert could see the slight frown on the younger man's face and he wondered if he had the same feeling that something was off about the arrangement, as much as he did.

"I wish I could remember." His once lover murmured mostly to himself.

"With time, the doctors' said you would."

"In that case, I hope they're right." And for his own sake, he hoped as well.

**OWARI 9**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Andrès Soàres is Portuguese and is Antonio's half brother. He belongs to P. I borrowed him. I don't see the two getting along. **

**Next chapter, I expect to get hate from you guys. Oh the twists!**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: June 10th 2010, 6:28pm**

**Finished writing: June 12th 2010, 1:43am**

**Started typing: June 28th 2010, 8:14pm**

**Finished typing: June 28th 2010, 9:43pm**


	10. Devastated

**Breathe Anew**

**Devastated**

**Hello everyone! It has been a while, no? Well, lucky you I had a BA chapter that was just waiting to be typed out. I suggest you buckle in…**

**Disclaimer: The plot thickens!**

Breathe Anew

Devastated

The following month proved to be challenging for Gilbert's nerves. It was a new situation that he had to adapt to and it was sapping the energy right out of him. The first week that Matthew was back home was interesting for a lack of a better word.

Matthew was restless to go back to work or do something other than sit around in the house all day long, but the doctor told him to take it easy so he did, even though he would have preferred to do something, anything!

Gilbert had to watch himself from not completely losing it and they were both glad when Monday came and Matthew returned to work. The small change of scenery and the actual obligation of having something to do improved both of their moods by a lot.

By the end of the day, they were both able to appreciate each other's presence more and enjoy the small talk that came with it. The second Saturday that Matthew was back, the doctor told him that he could go back to playing hockey and Matthew was more than happy.

Gilbert remembered how a few years ago, Matthew was approached by a scouting agent and asked to tryout for the national team. The younger man had been overjoyed and ended up making the team. He played for one season, but then he stopped, since he didn't like the way the game was being controlled by money. He then returned to his local team.

Now he played on a semi-professional level and he did it more for fun and for the love of the sport than anything else and he enjoyed it.

After that initial first week of adjusting, the two of them fell into an easy routine that sort of surprised Gilbert. Mondays, Wednesdays and Saturdays, he was in charge of dinner while Matthew cooked on Tuesdays, Thursdays and Sundays. Fridays turned out to be either left-over night or take-out night and that was fine with both of them.

Matthew went to the hospital every two weeks for a regular check-up in order to make sure that his condition was stable. Gilbert always came with him and Matthew didn't seem to mind.

Once the doctor was done with her patient, she would in turn speak to Gilbert for a little bit to see how he was doing. It was during the second check-up, after Matthew was released, that the doctor told Gilbert that if he wanted to, because Matthew was recuperating well, he could start, or more like restart including things that they used to do together. Little things like an outing at a favourite restaurant or a drive up along the mountain, in the hopes of getting the younger man to remember.

Gilbert seized the opportunity immediately and decided to revive their Friday night movie nights. From the early days of their relationship, every Friday, or the majority of them, they would either rent a movie, or pick one from their collection and watch it together. It proved to be an excellent way to unwind after a long week of work and the added rule of sweatpants, wool socks and the baggiest t-shirt you owned, only made the event cozier.

He was looking forward to this quiet evening at home and he picked their favourite movie to watch. Gilbert had a good feeling about tonight and he couldn't wait for Matthew to finish up with his shower so their evening could start.

"Hey Gilbert, could you give me a hand with something?" Matthew asked, as he went down the stairs and walked towards the kitchen. Gilbert left the room he was in and went up to meet his "friend" in the corridor that led to the other rooms of the condo.

He was curious to know what Matthew needed help with and when he saw the younger man, he stopped in his tracks to take a moment to compose himself.

"Hey, aren't you a little overdressed for casual movie night Friday?" He asked with a small smile. Why Matthew was dressed up in a nice fancy suit, clean pressed pure white shirt and a silk tie hanging loosely from his neck, he still did not know.

"Oh! I'm so sorry! I completely forgot about tonight." Matthew apologized as his eyes went wide and he smacked his forehead.

"That's alright, we can always postpone it to next week, but what are you all dressed up for?" Gilbert observed as Matthew turned a lovely shade of pink as his cheeks flushed with colour. The younger of the two shuffled shyly on the spot and averted his gaze from him to the floor.

"I-I have a date with Valerie from next door… I'm going to pick her up in ten minutes." Matthew looked back at him and gave him a small smile. Gilbert, on the other hand, felt as though the world stopped spinning, again. Here he thought that he was making good progress, that he would get his second chance, that Matthew would finally remember after a whole month passed, but instead, instead he went and found himself a new sweetheart, a girl no less.

"Oh, oh, I – I see, well, eum, that's great, I guess. I, eum, you said you needed my help?" Gilbert wanted to run, he wanted to punch someone, he wanted to grab Matthew's shoulders and shake him, as he would yell at him that they were a couple; that they loved each other and that he wouldn't let him go out with this Valerie chick.

But instead, he simply tried his best to remain as calm as possible on the outside, while he fell apart on the inside.

"Oh, yes, eum, I can't seem to get my tie right, can you do it for me, please?"

"Sure." He walked over to him, took the delicate piece of fabric in his hands and proceeded to make an elaborate knot. Once he was done, Gilbert let his hands slide down to Matthew's shoulders and the two just stood there in silence for a moment.

"You look good, Matt." Gilbert finally murmured, interrupting the silence.

"Oh, thanks." More silence followed. None of them dared to move, almost as if some spell was placed on them.

"Well, I should be going. Wish me luck." Gilbert nodded and let go of him.

"'Knock 'em dead." Matthew turned around and gave him a small smile before walking out. Gilbert sighed and let himself slide to the ground, once the door was closed.

He remembered a time, not too long ago, when he would fix Matthew's tie in the morning before his lover had an important meeting and just before he would leave, Gilbert would pull him close and whisper "'knock 'em dead" right after Matthew would have told him "wish me luck" and then he would give him a good luck kiss. But that was then and this was now and Gilbert couldn't help but quietly sob the fact that he preferred the past to this new reality he seemed to be stuck in.

After staying with his back against the front door for a good thirty minutes, he made his way to the liquor cabinet and grabbed the first bottles that came to his hands. He needed something strong tonight and Jack Daniel's, rum and a good old bottle of vodka, which he actually hated, would do the job nicely.

He made his way to the couch and proceeded to drink away, or at least try to drink away his misery. He somehow managed to get halfway through his bottle of rum and four beers (because he liked beer and beer tasted good, damn it), before he fished out his cell phone from his back pocket and dialled Francis' phone number.

The phone rang once and then twice, before his friend picked up. Gilbert was just glad that it was the Frenchman and not Arthur who answered. He wasn't sure he could handle the other man in his current state. Gilbert sobbed out his tale to Francis and he wasn't even done that his friend told him he was on his way and not to move a muscle. He did just that and waited for him.

Francis didn't need to ring the doorbell when he got there, since he had his own key to the place. He walked into the condo and quickly located Gilbert, who was nursing the second bottle of liquor. Francis sat next to him and pulled the bottle out of his hands. No words were exchanged between the two as the elder of the pair pulled the other man to him.

Gilbert buried his head into his friend's shoulder and started sobbing all over again, not really caring that it was un-awesome or whatever. Francis could only make out clipped sentences in broken English and slurred German, but he could understand the gist of what his young friend was telling him.

"It is alright, Gilbert. I am right over here. Je te comprends."/_ "I understand you."_ Gilbert pulled away and looked into those cobalt eyes with his ruby reds.

"No, no you don't understand. You can't possibly even start to comprehend what I'm going through. You don't know what it's like to hear your lover, the one man you truly love, the one you wanted to marry, casually tell you he's going out with the girl from 3B. 1. You don't know what it's like, nobody does." Francis was silent for a moment as more tears fell from Gilbert's eyes. It was unnerving to see the young man display such emotions, for he seldom ever did. If anything, it was testimony that he truly did care for Matthew and that he was serious about their relationship.

"You are right, perhaps I do not understand or even know what you are going through, but I can guess. I too have a man I love and I pray never to live through something like this." Gilbert laughed.

"That bastard would probably have a field day right now seeing me like this."

"I would not know. I have not spoken to him much in the past few weeks." There was coldness to Francis' voice that was not there before.

"What are you talking about?" Gilbert looked at his friend, who gave him a small sad smile.

"It is just as I said. Ever since the incident, back when Mathieu woke up, he never really forgave me for helping you out or taking your defence. He may have gone through a lot, but he has to realize that it is not fair for others to suffer inutilement. I do not consider his threats of kicking me out seriously, but they certainly do chagrin me." Gilbert's silent crying stopped and he looked genuinely concerned for his friend.

"Fuck man, I'm sorry. You're supposed to tell me when shit like this happens, so I can help you and crap. That's why we're friends." Francis smiled softly at him.

"I have already said this once, but you have a lot on your plate. I did not wish to burden you with my troubles." Gilbert slung his arm around Francis' shoulders and drew him close.

"Nah, man, you have to tell me, you can't keep it all to yourself. Apparently, 's not good." He paused and gave a small hopeful smile to Francis.

"Someone up there must really hate us, drink?" He took a long swig from his bottle, before offering it to Francis who politely declined.

"No thank you and I believe you had enough." He gently pried the bottle out of Gilbert's hands, who only mildly protested.

The two of them ended up talking a while longer with Gilbert occasionally sniffing noisily whenever he would recall exactly why it was that he wasn't watching a movie with Matthew and it wasn't long before he fell asleep.

Francis placed a pillow behind his head and pulled a blanket over him, before getting rid of the bottles and closing the door softly behind him. For now, rest was probably the only solution to all of their problems.

**OWARI 10**

**To Be Continued**

**Whew, well, that was interesting, no? So, Matt has a girlfriend, ahahaha!**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: June 17th 2010, 10:36pm**

**Finished writing: June 21st 2010, 11:22pm**

**Started typing: August 23rd 2010, 6:43pm**

**Finished typing: August 23rd 2010, 8:30pm**


	11. Turned

**Breathe Anew**

**Turned**

**Guys, this chapter is SO AWESOME. I've been dying to show you! This truly is the high arc of the story. WE'RE MORE THAN HALF WAY THROUGH, WHAT?**

**Characters: Gilbert, Matthew, Arthur, Valerie**

**Rating: T+**

**Disclaimer: Buckle in, seriously.**

Breathe Anew

Turned

Gilbert was sleeping as best he could on the living room couch, when the sound of the doorbell roused him from his sleep. He half fell off from the couch, before getting up and walking to the door. He briefly noticed that Matthew's shoes weren't in their spot and he chose to ignore the fact and opened the door. He was expecting to find many different people on the other side, but the man that was there was the last person he ever expected to see at his place.

"Arthur? 'The fuck you doing here?" He slurred out. Why Matthew's brother was here with a grin on his face was beyond him.

"I wanted to see for myself if what Francis told me was true. Is Matthew here?" Gilbert cringed. He highly doubted that Francis told of Matthew's whereabouts intentionally, but the fact remained, he didn't want to deal with this at the moment.

"I don't think he is. Now bye, bye Eyebrows, I have better things to do." Gilbert tried to close the door, but Arthur impeded him from doing so.

"I'm not quite done with you. If what Francis told me is true, and by that I mean Matthew went out with a nice lady of the name of Valerie, and if he hasn't returned home yet, then I must say, I don't think I'll be seeing much of you for longer.

However, I am curious to know, how does it feel to lose my brother to a girl, hmm? I guess there is justice in this world after all. Serves you right! I'll make sure to send you an invite to their wedding. Who knows, maybe you'll get a chance to be his best man; how would you like that?" Arthur smirked at Gilbert who was trying his hardest not to lash out, but the last comment got to him and made him snap.

"Shut up!" He yelled as he punched Arthur square in the jaw. The shorter man lost his balance and stumbled a bit.

"Don't you fucking dare! Don't you fucking dare say that! Christ Arthur, what the fuck do you get out of seeing me like this?" He yelled. He made a move to kick Arthur's half bent form, but the older man saw his foot coming and pulled him on the floor with him.

"The satisfaction of seeing you fall and suffer." Arthur replied darkly, before punching Gilbert in the stomach.

"You're one sick bastard. I hope they have a place for you in hell." Gilbert made a grab for Arthur's neck, who in turn kneed Gilbert in the chest once or twice. The two thrashed about the front porch; yelling profanities at each other and trying to do as much bodily harm as possible. At some point, Arthur broke a small flower pot on Gilbert's head and the taller man responded with a punch on the nose.

* * *

Matthew was sitting in his brother's car when Alfred pulled up in front of the condo he shared with Gilbert. He had a splendid evening the night before and he decided to pay his younger brother a visit in the morning, since he hadn't seen him in a while. He was looking forward to a nice cup of coffee, but when he looked towards the entrance, his entire insides froze.

"Holy shit!" Alfred shouted when he saw their older brother and Gilbert fighting each other. Alfred was the first one out of the car and Matthew quickly followed him. The brothers ran to the two older men as quickly as they could, before something bad happened.

By now, Arthur cornered Gilbert into the wall, while the younger man had his hands firmly set around the other's neck. Because Gilbert was taller than Arthur, the blonde was an inch or so above ground and he was desperately trying to free himself from the other man's grip, before he ran out of air. He tried to kick Gilbert once or twice, but that did nothing in his favour. If anything, the silver haired man squeezed his windpipes just a bit more.

"Gilbert, let him go!" Matthew yelled.

"Matt, stay out of this, please, I don't want you to get hurt." Matthew tried separating his brother from his friend, but to no avail.

"Alfred, do something!" The younger brother tried as well to pry Gilbert's hands away, but the older man's lock was firm.

"Dude, let him go, he's turning blue!" Alfred pulled harder and Gilbert pushed him aside a bit.

"He fucking deserves it! After what he said, this is nothing to what I could have done to him." Matthew looked from Alfred's panicked face to Arthur's quickly changing cheeks and to Gilbert's determined look. He could feel a headache coming and he knew he had to do something quickly, before it would be too late. He placed a gentle hand on Gilbert's arm and looked straight in his eyes.

"Gilbert, please, if not for him then do it for me." The effect was almost immediate. Gilbert's hands went lax after a second or two and Alfred caught Arthur before he could hit the floor.

When Arthur steadied himself, he tried to run in Gilbert's direction, but Alfred was quick to stop him from doing so. Matthew brought his friend inside, while Alfred took their older brother in a different direction. It was clear the two older men couldn't be close to each other for any longer or else there would be even more blood on the carpet.

* * *

Matthew brought Gilbert to the bathroom and sat him down on the toilet with the seat down. The younger man was silent and said nothing as he took out the first-aid kit and put on a pair of gloves. He took out the rubbing alcohol and gauze before starting to clean the wounds. Matthew avoided the other man's gaze while Gilbert followed his every move.

It wasn't until his knuckles and fingers were taken care of did Matthew finally break the silence that set between them.

"What happened?" Two words. Two simple words that were neither spoken with hatred or accusation. Two words simply asked by a man who did not understand what just happened.

"Your brother; that's what happened." The younger man said nothing as he taped a piece of gauze to his cheek and started brushing out bits of dirt and flowers from Gilbert's hair.

"He's never liked you, has he? From the start, he's always told me to stay away from you. He has to understand that he can't choose whom I decide to frequent and that he isn't our father no matter how much responsibility he has. I'm not going to stop being friends with you and that's that." Gilbert was silent as he replayed those words in his head. In a way, it almost seemed as though a bit of memory started returning to Matthew, but it could also mean absolutely nothing. He should at least be glad that Matthew chose to remain by his side, once more.

"Where were you this morning?" Gilbert finally asked, after a moment passed.

"I went jogging with Alfred. He wanted to know how last night went. I met up with him this morning." Gilbert nodded.

"I didn't hear you come in last night." He watched as the younger man's cheeks turned slightly pink.

"It was late when I got home. You were sleeping soundly on the couch." It was an acceptable story and Gilbert left it at that.

* * *

Alfred pulled his brother to his car and motioned for Arthur to sit on the hood, while he went to fetch the first-aid kit from the glove compartment. He walked back to the front and handed a thick wad of tissues to his brother for his nose.

"What the hell is wrong with you, Arthur?" He finally hissed out. The older of the two said nothing and averted his gaze.

"Seriously, what's the point of going to harp on Gilbert about what's happened? Don't you think he's suffering enough?" Again, Arthur avoided his gaze.

"Christ man, I know you have issues with him, but he didn't do anything to Matt. You have to get over that. Eventually, Matt will completely push you out of his life and he won't be the only one to do that. Let go of the past, start living the present. Gilbert's been good to Matthew. The least you can do is help him out now. He needs support."

"I will do no such thing! He ruined my family." Arthur snapped.

"For the love of God! He's not the one who killed Mom and Dad! Matt didn't even know him then. You're not the only one who misses them. I'm not saying Gilbert's perfect, but he really does care for him. I'm not sure the same could be said about you towards Francis." Nothing else was mentioned and Alfred finished dressing Arthur's wounds with perhaps a bit more gruffness than necessary.

* * *

Later that night, when both Gilbert and he were sleeping, Matthew woke up in the middle of the night with a bad case of the munchies. He exited his room and made his way to the kitchen. He grabbed some yogurt and cookies, when he got to the fridge and he was about to return to his room, when he noticed Gilbert on the sofa. Matthew never really understood why the older man didn't sleep in his own room. In all honestly, he never saw it and he suspected that Gilbert didn't often sleep in it.

When he returned home from the hospital and Gilbert gave him the grand tour, they passed by the room, which was closed. Matthew eyed the door for a moment and Gilbert told him his room was in a mess and it was just his room, nothing worth seeing. The younger man didn't say anything about it and let it go.

Matthew surprised Gilbert sleeping on the couch many times, but he attributed to the fact that the other man simply fell asleep there, while watching some late night television, but when he found him with a bed pillow and a comforter, he started wondering.

He noticed the lights were still on in the living room, so he went to see if his friend was still awake. Upon getting there, he noticed Gilbert was sleeping. He was about to return to his midnight snack, which he left on the kitchen counter, but something pulled him closer.

He walked up to the arm of the couch and stood there, observing the dormant man. After a while, he sat on the side and continued watching, half lost in his thoughts. He noticed the rise and fall of Gilbert's chest, with each breath he took and noticed the way his shoulders seemed less tense. He would have seemed peaceful had it not been for the slight frown in his brow.

"There's something I don't understand about you, Gilbert. I can feel this incredible sadness surrounding you. You try to hide it with your smiles, but I see it in your eyes; your smile doesn't reach them anymore.

What are you keeping to yourself? What is it that none of you seem to want to tell me? Is it really that big of a secret? I'm sure I could help you… I want to see you smile like you used to…" Matthew trailed off. His hand found Gilbert's pale locks and started brushing through them. He remained that way for a moment, before he stopped as simply as he started and got up.

"I wish you would share with me your burdens like you used to." He shut off the lights and went back to his room, snack in hands.

* * *

Over the following two weeks, Gilbert's wounds healed and Matthew avoided all of Arthur's calls. Alfred visited a few times and apologized for Arthur's behaviour, but none of the two other men wanted to hear of it.

It was Friday afternoon and Gilbert decided to leave work early. There was nothing left to do at the office and he figured that the earlier he got home, the sooner he could kick back and enjoy the weekend.

He put his bag and his jacket away before removing his shoes and walking to the kitchen. There was some left over meatloaf in the fridge and he figured that would go perfectly with a nice can of cold beer and a slice of cake.

He was going to ask Matthew if he wanted him to warm something up for him as well, since he knew that the younger man was home, seeing as his shoes were in the entrance, but when he entered the living room, he nearly got the breath knocked out of his lungs. He was sure he was dreaming, or more like having a terrible nightmare.

There was Matthew, on the sofa, half lying on it, in the living room, with his arms around Valerie's waist, one hand under her shirt, tie loosened up, glasses on the coffee table, suit jacket taken off, dress shirt slightly open to reveal his chest, Valerie sitting on his lap, her arms around his neck, both obliviously enraptured in their own world, both unaware they had a guest, neither realizing Gilbert was highly uncomfortable with having found them making out.

Of all the things he ever imagined would happen, of all the scenarios, of all the possibilities, this was never one he thought he would encounter; this was never on any of his lists. Gilbert felt the little hope that was growing, the small faith he was nursing, shatter to bits as he felt his heart literally get ripped out of his body and stomped on before his very eyes.

He didn't know whether he should voice his displeasure, or leave quietly, or ignore that Matthew was kissing a girl on their couch; a couch that served them well for more than cuddling some eight months ago. At this point, he didn't even know where he would sleep tonight.

He finally opted to quietly step away from the scene and make this as less awkward as possible, but as luck would have it, he bumped into a chair, which made noise and caused both Matthew and Valerie to be startled out of their little affectionate exchange.

"Gil, I didn't hear you come in. You're home early today, eh?" Matthew blurted quickly, pulling on his glasses and sitting up on the couch. Gilbert watched as Valerie slid off from his once-lover's lap and instead, took her place next to him. He saw how Matthew gently took her hand in his, not as embarrassed at being caught as he would have thought.

"I, euh, I finished early." He averted his gaze from them and went to clean up the dish in the sink; anything to distract his mind from completely breaking down.

"Oh, I believe you haven't properly met Valerie. Val, this is Gil; my friend and this here is Valerie; my girlfriend."

"It's a pleasure to meet you. I've heard a few things about you." Valerie said as she got up and went to greet Gilbert by extending her hand. Gilbert wanted nothing more but slap her hand away and tell her to get lost, but instead, he found himself shaking her hand and asking her if she wanted to join them for leftover Friday. As much as it pained him to do so, he had to remind himself that it wasn't her fault Matthew couldn't remember and that all good things came to those who waited.

At this point, he hoped it was true.

**OWARI 11**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**You only know half of it! Pft, c'mon, gimme your best shot! I'm having way too much fun.**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: September 1st 2010, 1:31am**

**Finished writing: September 2nd 2010, 1:21am**

**Started typing: September 7th 2010, 7:33pm**

**Finished typing: September 7th 2010, 9:32pm**


	12. Touched

**Breathe Anew**

**Touched**

**Hola everyone! I hope your axes are nice and shiny. Things are starting to wrap up, but I still have a few twists under my sleeve. Let the fun continue, shall we?**

**Characters: Matthew, Francis, Antonio, Gilbert, a new character!**

**Rating: T**

**Disclaimer: I'm seriously having way too much fun with this story. **

Breathe Anew

Touched

As much as Gilbert tried to convince himself that Matthew's fling with Valerie was just a passing faze, when one month turned into two, three into four and when the fifth month came strolling by, Gilbert was starting to consider getting himself his own place.

The condo he purchased so many years ago held too many memories for him and as much as he tried to chase away the ghosts from his past, the skeletons in his room kept him awake at night.

The holidays were particularly brutal on him, what with Valerie spending Christmas with Matthew and on the twenty-sixth, Gilbert booked himself a plane ticket to Germany. He spent two weeks there with his folks and his brother, who was visiting as well, before returning back to his home, in slightly better spirits.

It wasn't that he didn't want Matthew to be happy, but part of him couldn't quite digest the fact their relationship was over; that their languid mornings spent in bed together exchanging sweet nothings were far behind him and that Matthew's future was one without him by his sides.

He talked to Matthew's doctor about this and she told him these things took time to fall back in place. Alfred suggested he just bring Matthew to the lake, where the incident had taken place and on a day where he felt brave, some two weeks ago, he went out with Matthew. They went as far as the main road before Gilbert broke down.

He passed it off as too much stress from work and Matthew didn't say a thing, but he didn't seem convinced either.

Half his waking time, Gilbert tried his best to compose his thoughts and try not to read into Matthew's gestures too much. It was incredibly confusing and frustrating to see the blonde casually tease him with a brush of a hand here and there or a line that hinted to a past they once shared, but Matthew still didn't seem to remember.

He didn't like the way he was becoming, but he just didn't see any other alternatives to it. Gilbert sighed as he took out the cutting board and started chopping celery for some soup. It was lunchtime and Matthew was due home any minute now. The younger man was gone for the past three days to a chalet his parents left him located up North.

Gilbert remembered with ease the many winter nights they spent up there making love by the fireside and he bitterly wondered if Matthew used their special blanket and if he even remembered why it was special. He shook his head from the thoughts and tried to concentrate on the task at hand.

He was completely opposed with the idea of the little retreat at first, but when he wasn't able to find a legitimate excuse as to why he, Matthew's "friend", should abstain him from going, he shut his gob and said nothing.

He was snapped out of his thoughts by the sound of the door closing shut and a duffel bag hitting the floor. Gilbert put his knife down and went to greet his living companion.

He found Matthew leaning against the door with a happy content smile on his face and his violet eyes shining brightly. Gilbert knew that look. He had seen it many times and right now; it disgusted him.

He wanted to sneer at the younger man and punch that smile off his face. He wanted to walk up to him and tell him everything. He wanted to see that smile directed at him with the sunlight from his room reflecting on Matthew's blonde highlights. But most of all, he wanted Matthew to hold him in his arms once more like he used to. He needed some air.

"Glad you're home. Listen, I'm on my way out; I'll be back later." Gilbert sidestepped Matthew and exited his place, only stopping to pull on his jacket. Matthew barely heard him and simply sighed contentedly.

Gilbert walked with no purpose at first. He walked because he needed a change of scenery. He walked because the cold, brisk, winter air felt good on his cheeks and it made him alert of everything that was going on. He walked quickly for fifteen minutes and then he slowed down as he felt something warm roll down his cheeks. He raised a hand to his face and felt a tear there.

He sighed to himself and decided to walk to his friend's house. Francis didn't live too far by car, about five to eight minutes, fifteen minutes by public transportation and twenty-five by foot if he was walking quickly. Gilbert found his momentum and picked up his pace. His only thought as he walked was that if Arthur was there, he wouldn't be responsible for his actions.

* * *

When he got to Francis' place, which was actually the childhood home that Matthew grew up in, it was to find only one car in the driveway. Gilbert was relieved that it was his friend's, but he was perplexed as to whom the pair of feet and legs that were coming out from the passenger side belonged to. He nearly did a double take when he recognized the other man.

"Toni? 'The fuck you doing here in winter?" Antonio and Francis both turned around at the sound of his voice.

"Che frio! You guys must be loco to live through this every year. Es la muerte." He said as he shivered dramatically. Gilbert found himself smiling for the first time in weeks.

"Ne sois pas stupide, Antoine. You used to live here too, once upon a time."/ _"Don't be stupid, Antonio."_ Francis said as he took out Antonio's suitcase from the backseat.

"Si, si, but you get used to the warmth muy rapidamente."

"Maybe, but why are you here now?" Gilbert asked ever curious.

"Ah, well, it was supposed to be a surprise as a belated Christmas present for you, mi amigo. Francis and I were going to come and visit you later today, but you beat us to it." He smiled and paused. "Can we continue this inside? I can't feel my feet anymore." Francis and Gilbert both laughed as the three of them made their way inside, where it was nice and warm.

"Alors, what brings you here in this weather, Gilbert?" Francis asked as he went about getting the necessary things out to make his special hot chocolate that was velvety smooth.

"I needed to get out of the house…" He simply said. Antonio and Francis exchanged a worried glance.

"What happened now?" Antonio inquired. Gilbert sighed before telling his two friends of what happened earlier that morning.

"But enough about me, how are things with you and him?" Gilbert asked Francis, who gave him a sad smile.

"They are as cold as the outside weather."

"Shit, I'm sorry man."

"Not to worry. Either Arthur will come around on his own and realize his error, or I will simply pack up my things and leave." The other two said nothing to that and watched Francis work over the stove.

"Toni, please, tell me something good. C'mon, we can't all be living shit relationships. How's your tomato boy?" The Spaniard's face lightened up with joy at the mention of his lover.

"Lovi told me he loved me before I left! Isn't this fantastic?" Gilbert laughed and clamped a hand to his friend's shoulder.

"Good job man! It only took him what, five years to say it?" Antonio smiled.

"No importa. It was the sweetest thing ever. He drove me to the airport and he waited with me in line before I passed security. He wasn't saying much, but that's Lovino for you! Anyways, when there were about five people left in front of me, he pulled me to him and kissed me. It was muy magnifico. Then he mumbled "I love you" and he left quickly, but it was soooo cute. He doesn't know it, but I saw him waiting until I was completely gone before he left.

One day, the two of you will come and visit me so I can present you to him. At least it's warm back home!" Antonio chuckled to himself as Francis placed three steaming mugs of hot chocolate in front of them.

"It's good to know that one of us is happy. You know, maybe Toni had the right idea. Maybe I should have stayed in Germany when I went there for two years."

"What do you mean?" Francis asked.

"Just that. Had I stayed there, then none of this would have happened. Matt would have forgotten me and I wouldn't have confessed to him and all would be well." Gilbert was bitter about it and his friends could tell.

"Don't say such things. You were always so happy when you were with him. I think what you really need is a change of scenery." Antonio started.

"Oui. You are always spending your time at work or with Mathieu. You need to broaden your horizons, go out, have some fun, see what is out there." Gilbert stared at the elder of them with a confused look.

"Either you quit speaking code or I'm going to leave." Francis sighed.

"You can be so dense. If Mathieu has "moved on", so to speak, then maybe you should see someone else." The idea did not sit well with Gilbert.

"Are you out of your fucking mind? Francis, I knew you weren't all there, but that's just dumb. No, I'm not doing it." Gilbert refused at point blank, but Francis was not done.

"I am not saying that you need to develop a full blown relationship or even sleep with the other person, although, if you want, by all means, it would do you some good; I am simply suggesting that you go to a restaurant or something and just see what is available." Gilbert still wasn't convinced.

"Francis is right, amigo, it wouldn't kill you to see someone who isn't us or Matthew. If you really don't want to, it's okay, but it's only one night, nothing more." The silver haired man was silent for a moment as he thought the situation over. Maybe they were right and it was true that he didn't have to do anything that he felt uncomfortable with. These weren't his high school days.

"Okay, if I accept, who the hell am I supposed to go out with?" Francis and Antonio smiled.

"I have a friend of mine who works with me. His name is Jake and I'm sure the two of you would get along just fine."

"Alright, whatever, but just one dinner; that's all." Francis nodded and promised to set up the appointment. Gilbert returned to his hot chocolate, glad that Francis always poured a generous amount of brandy.

* * *

The following Saturday, Gilbert changed out of his usual jeans and t-shirt for something more appropriate for his blind date. As much as he hated the idea, he rather enjoyed telling Matthew where he was headed.

The younger man was slightly surprised, but wished him a pleasant evening. Gilbert watched him closely and even though nothing Matthew did showed signs of jealousy, Gilbert saw a flicker of emotion pass through his violet eyes. He did a mental victory at that, but then Matthew told him he would be at Valerie's overnight and he was sure his own eyes spoke nothing but jealousy.

Gilbert shook his head to rid himself of these thoughts and passed a quick comb through his hair. He checked his appearance, made sure he looked presentable in his casual black pants and red button down shirt, before fixing the collar, grabbing the jacket that went with the pants and scanned his room briefly.

The side Matthew used to sleep on looked as unused as always and everything seemed the same except for the un-matching pillows on the bed. The one he used to sleep had the matching pillowcase that went with the sheets, but the one on Matthew's side was one from a different set of sheets.

It was the last pillow case Matthew woke to on that fateful day of the accident and whenever Gilbert was feeling particularly down, or whenever he slept in his room, (because sometimes the couch got really uncomfortable), he would hug the pillow close to him and he would smell the lingering odour of Matthew's scent that stayed on the pillow. If he closed his eyes, he could make believe for a moment that all was well.

"Well, here's mud in your eye, I suppose." He whispered to the picture frame on the bedside table; the only picture that he hadn't put away in the storage room with everything else from his past life.

His eyes lingered on their happy, smiling faces for a moment longer before he squared his shoulders and set out for this so called date of his with the Jake fellow Francis knew.

* * *

When he stepped into the restaurant, he already felt unease creeping into his stomach. Even though he wasn't doing anything wrong, he still felt as though he was cheating Matthew by just being here and he hadn't even met the other man.

Gilbert mentally readied himself for what was to come and walked over to the table Francis told him he reserved for the evening. He found his dinner date already sitting and apologized for having made him wait.

The other man smiled politely and told him he wasn't waiting long. Gilbert spared Jake a glance and briefly observed him. He had medium long brown hair, which was let lose and bangs that were parted to the side. He had dark brown eyes that were soft to look at. The man had fair skin and was wearing a crisp green shirt, a tie and grey pants. His sense of unease grew even more.

"Listen, before we start any of this, I have to be honest, I –" Jake smiled and interrupted him.

"Don't worry, Francis told me that you were just here for a breath of fresh air. So how about a simple dinner between two people who've just met and we'll see where that takes us? For all I know, you can be a total ass." He smiled and Gilbert found himself smiling at the joke as well. Perhaps this wouldn't be such a fiasco.

They made polite conversation and exchanged casualties about each other, asking about family, jobs, and hobbies and Gilbert found himself enjoying the exchange. One subject led to another and eventually, the conversation turned to Gilbert's current situation somewhere halfway through the meal and Gilbert found himself spilling everything that he was keeping to himself.

He told Jake things that nobody else knew. He told him of the fact that he wanted to propose to Matthew, told him of the guilt he still felt, of his irregular sleeping habits, of his rage, his longing, his sorrow, his jealousy, he brought himself raw until there was nothing left in him and for some reason, he felt better.

Jake did not judge him and he didn't laugh. He simply put a soothing hand on top of his and said nothing. By his silence, Gilbert understood that he wasn't left alone and that he had friends he could talk to.

"Thanks." He finally said after a moment passed. Jake shook his head.

"I can only hope to be as lucky as Matthew and to one day find someone as caring. There aren't many like you out there." Jake gave him a little smile and Gilbert wondered for a second what Jake's story was.

They finished eating in relative calm and even had dessert. They each paid their own bill and Gilbert was pleased by the general outcome of the evening. He was about to pull his jacket on when Jake slipped him a piece of paper from across the table. He picked it up and unfolded it only to find a phone number written on it.

"Call me, if ever you need someone to talk to and you feel no one else can listen." Gilbert nodded and placed it in his wallet, where it would be safe. The evening came to an end and they both went their separate ways. For some reason, he felt strangely optimistic.

**OWARI 12**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Aha, yeah, so I have a strange definition for "things are going to pick up". Go ahead, lemme have it!**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: September 7th 2010, 11:29pm**

**Finished writing: September 8th 2010, 11:56pm**

**Started typing: September 18th 2010, 10:55pm**

**Finished typing: September 19th 2010, 12:40am**


	13. Hoped

**Breathe Anew**

**Hoped**

**Okay, I usually update things in order, but I was not in the mood to update FA so I decided to give you all a bit of BA.**

**Also, there will be 21 chapters in the end. This chapter was supposed to be chapter 17, but when I was looking at my notes, it didn't make any sense to have this chapter later so it got shifted.**

**The FST (fan made soundtrack) will be available at the same time as the last chapter.**

**Characters: Matthew, Gilbert**

**Disclaimer: I have nothing to say in my defence.**

Breathe Anew

Hoped

Over the following month, the weather started to change for the better and with it, Gilbert's mood seemed to make a switch for the best as well. Matthew was still with Valerie, but for reasons unknown, he wasn't as upset about it.

It was a bright Wednesday afternoon and Gilbert got home early from work. The spring air was doing wonders for his morale and he was enjoying a good book in the living room, with the sun warming his body, when he heard the door open and close. He put his book down and checked his watch. He noticed that it was the time which Matthew usually got home. He was about to get up and greet his "friend", but Matthew came to see him instead.

Immediately, Gilbert noticed that something was different about the blonde. There was something in his eyes that hadn't been there that morning.

"Hey, you okay?" Matthew slipped into the room and sat down next to Gilbert.

"I have to talk to you." Gilbert gulped, feeling uneasy. Those words didn't sound encouraging. Nevertheless, Gilbert nodded his head, encouraging the younger man to talk.

"I… what I mean to say is, why didn't you tell me?" Gilbert was expecting many things, but this was not one of them.

"What?"

"Why didn't you tell me we were once lovers? Why didn't anyone tell me that we stopped being friends a long time ago, because we were dating? Why didn't you tell me?" Gilbert looked at Matthew and searched for words. He never saw such betrayal expressed in those violet eyes.

"I'm sorry… I was just following orders. They didn't want me to tell you or else I would have." He leaned against the couch and then sat up straight as the conversation replayed in his mind. He looked at the man besides him.

"Who, who told you this? Do, does this…?" He tried to decipher Matthew's expression, but the other man's face was blank.

"You're an incredible person, Gilbert Beilschmidt. I am truly lucky to have you in my life. I'm sorry for the hell you've been through these past months." And before he could say anything, before he could even formulate a question in his mind, Matthew closed the distance between them and his lips claimed Gilbert's own.

At first, the older man was too shocked to respond, but Matthew was quick to coax him out of his stupor and soon, Gilbert had his arms around Matthew's shoulders and started pushing Matthew down on the couch.

When they broke away momentarily to catch their breaths, he looked into Matthew's eyes and recognized those emotions from long ago, the same emotions he thought would never again be directed at him from behind those glasses. He had to make sure.

"Where did we go on vacation two years ago?" He asked. Matthew brought a hand to his face and caressed his cheek tenderly. Gilbert pressed his face deeper into that warm palm.

"We went to Germany. You brought me to meet your parents. Your mother showed me baby pictures of you and you got all flustered about it, even though you kept saying you were an awesome baby." Gilbert remained silent as he felt himself well up with emotions. He was back. Matthew had returned to him after so many months of anguish, after suffering through insult and injury, Matthew remembered him.

"Welcome back." He simply whispered, not trusting himself with any other words. Matthew smiled at him, kissing him once more. This time Gilbert did not hold back as he let his hands roam free, reacquainting themselves with Matthew's body.

They quickly progressed to remove each other's clothes, until Matthew was lying naked underneath Gilbert and the older man had to do his best to hold back his tears of gratitude and amazement that this was actually really happening.

As much as Gilbert wanted to take Matthew as he had in the past, as much as his body was begging him to go ahead and continue, he was in such an emotional state that he simply buried his face in Matthew's shoulder and wept.

Matthew was startled at first by the sudden change in pace, but he was quick to hold his lover in his arms and simply let him empty himself of all these repressed emotions.

Gilbert held on tightly to the younger man, almost as if afraid that Matthew would vanish from his grasp and occasionally, fragmented sentences in broken English and clipped German would get past his lips.

This lasted a good five minutes before the older of the two finally gained control of his emotions and remained silent as he hummed the scent of Matthew's skin that was uniquely his own. Matthew stroked his hair and back until he judged that Gilbert was sufficiently calmed down.

"Allow me to alleviate your pain." He whispered to him. Gilbert didn't understand at first, but Matthew gently switched their positions so that he was on top of him and Gilbert nodded his head.

Matthew was as loving as always, making sure not to brusque Gilbert. It was slow, it was sensual, filled with gentle touches and warm kisses, whispered loving words and a reassured feeling that he was back and that the nightmare was behind them, a thing of the past, over.

* * *

Gilbert couldn't remember the last time he genuinely felt so serene in the last several months, but he had to say that right now, lying close, snuggled to Matthew under a warm blanket with the sun setting outside, he was pretty sure this was that moment, or at least, one of them. He felt Matthew shift in his lose embrace and he tilted his head to look at his lover. They exchanged a brief kiss and a smile before Matthew's hand was caressing his cheek once more.

"You know I love you, right?" Gilbert nodded and kissed his forehead, as if to confirm the words.

"Then wait for me. Wait for me a little longer and I'll return." With a final kiss and a warm look, Gilbert didn't even have the chance to say a thing, as everything went black and he found himself lying on his bed.

It was Thursday morning and it had all been a dream; a trick of his mind, a wish from his heart.

**OWARI 13**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Ha, ahahahahahah, go ahead, lay into me! It was too good to be true! And P totally called it three paragraphs in LOL. She knows me too well. **

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: September 18th 2010, 8:49pm**

**Finished writing: September 18th 2010, 9:56pm**

**Started typing: September 24th 2010, 9:26pm**

**Finished typing: September 24th 2010, 10:06pm**


	14. Transformed

**Breathe Anew**

**Transformed**

**Guys, holy rhubarbs! You are so awesome! A landslide of reviews for the last chapter! I've never gotten so many for one chapter! I am seriously tickled pink by it; thank you!**

**This chapter originally, did not exist. After writing chapter 13, I thought of it, but then I figured I put enough twists and you had gone through enough misery. However, after speaking with euphoria_anger, she got me to write it. This chapter is her child and our love child. In the end, though, this chapter was needed for the ending of it, my brain child of our brain child, only helps to bring the story in the right direction.**

**That being said, read it completely! Don't jump to any conclusions! Wait until you read the last word!**

**A special thanks to P. for reluctantly letting me do this! Aha.**

**Characters: Gilbert, Matthew, Jake, Francis**

**Disclaimer: The last of the twists, pinkie swear. **

Breathe Anew

Transformed

As the weeks went by, Gilbert called up Jake a few times and met up with him every now and then for lunch or coffee. The older man was a pleasant change to be around and he had a wicked sense of humour. Gilbert found his mood improving by a lot and his hatred for Valerie wasn't as high as it had been. He even found himself exchanging jokes with her, once or twice.

He thanked Francis for introducing him to his new friend and the older man was pleased that Gilbert was doing better. The weather was improving with each passing day and the spark of life in Gilbert's eyes was back as well.

At the current moment, Gilbert was busy looking for something he needed to make a report for work. Since he couldn't find the paper in his briefcase, he made his way to the main floor and happened to pass by the living room where Matthew was chatting on the phone. He was about to continue on with his task, but the conversation his blonde friend was having caught the best of his curiosity.

"I'll have to think about it, really. I mean, there's nothing sure yet, but it's been a while now and it would be more practical. The price for the land is really good, but it'll depend of funds and all. I'm sure she'll be happy, but I'll definitively let you know, bye now." Gilbert watched as Matthew closed the phone and put it away. He watched the happy little smile on the younger man's face and he could feel his heart turn cold. This was the last straw, the end of his hope and everything else that came with it.

The file forgotten, he made his way back to his bedroom where he locked himself up. So, so this is how it was going to be? Matthew was apparently planning to move out and by what he heard, he wasn't simply moving out on his own, no, he was doing it with Valerie.

Gilbert really felt as though his whole body was going to explode with pent up rage. It was almost a year, since the accident. Ten months and a half to be exact and the only thing Matthew remembered was that they went fishing together once and that he used to work in a bistro. But that was a very long time ago.

He punched his pillow in frustration and then buried his head in it. He stayed like that, mulling his thoughts over and wishing he could put an end to all of this. At some point or another, he fell asleep and when he woke up, it was to find that night time had fallen.

Gilbert had half a mind to just sleep until he had to go to work again, but when his stomach grumbled, he decided to get up and make himself something to eat and maybe get completely plastered as well.

When he got to the kitchen, he found a note on the table from Matthew telling him that he was going out and he didn't even read the full of it, before crumbling it up and throwing it in the garbage. He walked to the fridge and was about to open it, when a little green post-it note caught his attention. He easily recognized his own handwriting, but what struck him as important was Jake's number that he recopied on the piece of paper.

Well, the older man told him to give him a call whenever and Gilbert was in dire need of company. Without giving it a further thought, he grabbed the cordless and dialled the familiar number. The phone rang twice, before it was picked.

"_Hello?"_

"Hey man, it's Gilbert. Listen, I was wondering if you wanted to come over for dinner at my place."

"_Sure, sounds great, just gimme your address."_ Gilbert gave him the needed information along with some directions, before going off to start the dinner preparations. Since everything was sort of last minute and there wasn't that much food in the pantry, he made a special recipe his brother's friend taught him, many years ago.

The meal consisted of spaghetti, cream, salmon, chives, white wine and a squirt of lemon juice. Surprisingly, he had all of that. By the time everything was simmering in a pan, Jake was at the door. Gilbert let him in and took his coat, before walking him to the kitchen.

"Here, I brought you some wine; figured it was the least I could do." The older man leaned against the counter and watched his host go about preparing the food.

"Thanks, you didn't have to though." Jake shook his head and the both of them fell into casual conversation. Gilbert poured them a generous glass of wine and they sipped at it, while munching on some vegetables and dip that was taken out earlier, while they waited for the meal to be ready.

Everything was very casual and friendly about the evening. The wine flowed freely and when the first bottle was finished, Gilbert simply went to get another one.

They polished off their plates of pasta and there wasn't even any left to put away for the following day's lunch. Once their bellies were full of delicious food and their minds slightly dulled by the welcoming buzz of alcohol, they made their way to the couch to continue talking.

During the two weeks or so that Gilbert knew of Jake's existence, he found out that his new friend went through quite a lot when he was younger. Much like Matthew, his parents perished in an accident and he was raised by his much older brother. The two were close due to their age difference and his brother never accepted his sexuality.

Jake followed a past flame to England, where he lived for five years and pursued his career as a hairstylist. However, the man he was seeing turned out to be nothing but a violent, cheating, drunk and after one too many beatings, he returned to his home country and opened up a salon there.

He was quite successful for a few years, but one day, he found his shop burning to the ground and now, while he waited for his new salon to be built, he was working for Francis at the bakery store. Other than that, his luck on the relationship side never lasted more than a month or two and he was used more than once.

Despite all of this, Jake still had a bright outlook on life and Gilbert admired him for it. He didn't know where the other man found the strength to get up in the morning, but Gilbert found him strong.

"So how have things been on your side?" Jake asked him. Gilbert sighed as he summed up how his past few weeks had been. He watched as his companion nodded his head that caused a strand of his brown hair, which he tied at the nape of his neck, to fall loose. It landed to the side of his face and framed it rather well.

"You have to tell yourself that it could be worse. That's how I see things." Gilbert looked away from Jake's hair and focused back on his face.

"Yeah, how? I don't think this could get any worse." He grumbled. The other man chuckled at that.

"Oh, trust me, it could. For starters, Matthew could not even like you as a friend, he could still be in a coma, he could have died, your friends could have turned their backs' on you, Arthur could have done some real damage to you, Matthew could have knocked up Valerie, and I could go on, you know." Gilbert gave him a glare, but otherwise said nothing.

"I'm telling you, it works all the time." The younger man returned to watching Jake, as he continued listing things that could have been worse. He wasn't really listening, as his mind was concentrating on those pale lips and deep brown eyes. He noticed how Jake's lips would quirk up every now and then as he said something funny, or how his eyes would grow a bit when he would think of something else to mention.

Perhaps it was the alcohol speaking, or maybe it was his aching heart, or just his need for proximity, but Gilbert found himself looking at Jake under a new and different light. He saw his hands, which were slim with long fingers, nails that were cut back, but not eaten, rebellious strands of hair adorning his facial features. Gilbert found himself sliding closer to his companion, until their hands brushed close. Jake stopped talking at the contact.

"Are you okay?" He asked. He turned his head ever so slightly and their eyes locked. Gilbert got closer still and Jake hesitated for a moment, but there seemed to be a force drawing them together until Gilbert's lips were only a few breaths away. They stayed that way for a moment, their eyes searching for answers to questions and then, in one fluid movement, Gilbert closed the distance and kissed him.

It was hesitant and short and Jake was the first one to pull away. His eyes were bright and his cheeks were rosy.

"Gilbert, are you sure about this? I don't want you to have any regrets." The younger man didn't even pause to think as he gave his answer.

"Yes, I'm sure." And to backup his words, he pressed his lips to Jake's once more, faintly tasting the coffee he had a little while ago.

From gentle sweet kisses, Gilbert pressed himself closer to the other body that offered warmth and comfort. He twined a hand in Jake's hair and released it from the band that was holding it in place all evening long.

Jake waited for Gilbert to do something before responding. He didn't want to push the other man into something he didn't want and at the same time, he knew this would not last long, but he was okay with it. He let Gilbert pull at his shirt, let himself fall against the couch, he allowed Gilbert to murmur a name that wasn't his against his skin and he allowed himself to enjoy this tender moment even if it wasn't his own.

* * *

Matthew sighed as he stepped into his house. He had a long day and his meeting with his boss took up the majority of his afternoon, but then again, it wasn't every day that he got promoted to head architect. And with a new job came new responsibilities.

For some reason, Matthew was looking forward to telling this good news to Gilbert and perhaps celebrating with some good beer and videogames. He was about to call out to his friend, but just as he stepped into the living room, his voice died within himself.

Gilbert was busy pushing off Jake's shirt past his shoulders, while both men were occupied in a deep embrace and a passionate kiss that made Matthew feel many different things all at once.

For starters, he felt bad for intruding on something so private. He would have apologized, but that would have made things just the more awkward. Matthew also felt slightly pissed off that his friend was making out on their couch and for some strange reason; there was something else that was swimming in his stomach.

He couldn't identify the feeling, but he couldn't stand there and watch the intimate exchange. He backed away as quietly as possible and made his way out. From the couch, neither Gilbert nor Jake moved from their exchange.

* * *

Gilbert successfully succeeded in removing Jake's shirt and his own was discarded some time ago. He was currently trying to remove the older man's pants, but the belt buckle was causing problems and it didn't help that his hands were shaking.

Jake broke their kiss once more and put his hands on top of Gilbert's. He looked up at the contact and came face to face with the other man's soft gaze.

"This has gone far enough, Gilbert; you aren't fooling anyone with this. I know it's not what you want." Gilbert pulled back and looked at the other man straight in the face. They stared at each other for a minute or so, before Gilbert's shoulders started to shake and he collapsed on his friend.

"Shh, there, there now, it's okay." Jake hugged the younger man to him and patted him on the back, as sobs wracked the other's body.

"I'm – I'm sorry." Gilbert mumbled from the confines of Jake's shoulder.

"It's okay, don't worry about it. I should have stopped you, before things got out of hand, if anything it's my fault. I'll leave if you want." Jake tried to get up, but Gilbert held him down.

"No, please, don't go, just hold me a little longer." The older man gave him a sad, little smile and nodded, before pulling the blanket over them and wrapping his arms around Gilbert.

For the first time in ten months, Gilbert slept the whole night through and was not plagued with his usual night terrors.

* * *

Matthew ran out of the condo and jogged away from the building. The scene he stumbled upon was still replaying in his mind and for some reason or another; he simply couldn't push it aside. He couldn't understand what any of this meant and the only thing he wanted to do at this point was seek solace from someone.

When he was younger, his mother or father did the job quite well, but seeing as they were no longer around, there was perhaps only one other person who could help him and even though he hadn't spoken with his brother in a really long time, Matthew needed Arthur's guidance.

He continued his fast walk to the house he was raised in and somewhere along the line, the skies opened up and it started raining. Matthew welcomed the rain for it masked his tears and seemed to help his jumbled thoughts; somewhat.

When the house came in sight, he picked up his pace and rang the doorbell. He didn't have to wait long and soon Francis was at the door. He seemed slightly surprised to see the younger man, but pleased nonetheless, if a little worried.

"Mathieu, est-ce que tout va bien?"/ _"Matthew, is everything alright?" _Francis stepped aside and let Matthew in. He didn't know what to tell his brother's lover and he found the words fighting to come out of his mouth.

"Is – is my brother here?"

"Non, he has been away for the past two days. Business trip, I think. Is there anything I can do for you? Some warm clothes perhaps?" The younger one nodded and Francis went to get the articles. He returned a moment later with a towel, a pair of sweatpants and a sweater that Matthew recognized as one Arthur made Francis for his birthday, a while back.

Once he was changed, Francis made him sit on the couch, while he prepared a cup of tea. Matthew observed him and was thankful that he got along quite well with him.

From the moment he met Francis, (he remembered Gilbert introducing him to Francis a while back now, but he knew that the older man was with his brother), the two clicked. Whether because of their common understanding of French or something else, Matthew felt he could talk to Francis for reasons unknown.

"Qu'est-ce qu'il y a, Mathieu?"/ _"What's wrong, Matthew?" _Francis asked him as he sat down beside him and handed him a steaming mug of tea.

"Francis, how did you – how did you know you liked Arthur?" The older man's eyes widened slightly as a flicker of understanding flashed through his blue eyes.

"There was something about him, something about the way he acted; I could see that it was only a façade, that behind his gruffness he truly cared. Something like that, I believe." Matthew nodded and accepted the answer.

"Can I be frank with you?"

"Of course you can. What is on your mind?"

"What should someone do, if they're in a relationship with someone and start feeling something for someone they've been told is their best friend?"

"That person should take a moment to reflect on their feelings and sort things out before doing anything rash." Matthew looked up to the man he considered to be his other older brother and nodded once more.

"Would you mind if I stayed here for the night?"

"Bien sûr que non. You know where your old room is. Arthur has not changed much to it."/ _"Of course not…"_ Francis chuckled at that and Matthew smiled as well.

"Merci Francis."/ _"Thank you Francis." _The older man passed it off as nothing as Matthew got up and headed for bed. It was about time things started taking a turn for the best.

**OWARI 14**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Oh look, we have thoughts from Matthew! Oh look, something's happening! **

**One more under the belt! The ending is approaching, sadly…**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: September 19****th**** 2010, 4:10pm**

**Finished writing: September 20****th**** 2010, 5:14pm**

**Started typing: October 7****th**** 2010, 6:40pm**

**Finished typing: October 7****th**** 2010, 9:57pm**


	15. Confessed

**Breathe Anew**

**Confessed**

**Guess who! A new chapter after a really long wait! I am so sorry for falling behind on this. School work is being a pain in my ass and it's deemed itself more important in my life. Hmph.**

**Characters: Matthew, Gilbert**

**Rating: T for cursing on Matthew's part.**

**Disclaimer: Some of you will be quite happy.**

Breathe Anew

Confessed

Gilbert refused to see Jake for a few days simply by principle. It took him a long while to sum up the courage to call him back. On top of that, he hadn't seen Matthew in two weeks and had it not been for Francis who called him five days ago to tell him that no, Matthew did not get abducted by space aliens, he would have been seriously worried, even though he still was.

The pessimist inside of him kept on telling him that his once lover simply picked up and moved out with Valerie, but when he saw her, eight days ago going into her place, his mind was able to conjure other drastic scenarios.

He was feeling simply shitty and the fact that he hadn't seen any of his friends for a while was getting to him, but that was to be expected. The only good thing that happened, since that evening with Jake was that the other man called him just the other day to talk things over and eliminate the white elephant in the room. As much as he wasn't looking forward to the talk, it was obviously needed and in the end, he was glad that Jake took the initiative to call, for it did them both wonders and they were able to achieve closure on this chapter, before moving on.

They talked extensively and things returned to where they were for them. Gilbert was glad, since he really enjoyed spending time with the other man.

As for now, it was the month of May and one year passed since the incident. Gilbert was simply relaxing on the couch in his living room. He had work to do and supper to start, but he was just emotionally exhausted. He felt as though he got to the end of road, at the cul-de-sac and there was no way out of his one way mess. He was about to just take a nap, but then he heard the front door open. He thought of feigning sleep, but when Matthew called out for him, he was up before he even realised it.

"Where have you been?" He found himself saying, before he could even formulate a proper greeting. He sounded worried even though he didn't want to, but the fact remained that Matthew was always on his mind, despite everything.

"I was with Francis. I'm - I'm sorry I didn't call. I just needed some time to think and to be alone. Don't get mad at him, I told him not to tell you anything." Gilbert nodded and they were both silent. He noticed that Matthew looked tired, almost as if he didn't sleep, since the last time he saw him. Matthew had deep, dark circles under his eyes and he looked thinner.

"I – we – can we talk? I really need to talk to you." Matthew finally said. Many different things ran through Gilbert's head. Was Matthew sick? Was that why he looked like this? Did something happen in those past two weeks? He found himself swallowing thickly and nodding.

They both made their way to the kitchen and sat down at the table. Gilbert waited for Matthew to say something, but the younger man seemed completely nervous and fidgety. The air around them was heavy and Gilbert didn't dare move in case it would scare Matthew from telling him whatever it was that was bothering him.

"I… I don't know how to start this." He finally said.

"Start from the beginning." Gilbert offered. He was hoping that it would help, but it seemed to only anger Matthew.

"The beginning? I don't even remember the beginning! I wish I did, though, trust me, I wish I did. It would make this mess so much less complicated." He finally snapped. Gilbert was slightly unnerved, but listened anyways.

"I don't want to mess anything up, but I just have to tell you this because it's been bothering me for the last several weeks, and I just can't take it anymore! I thought I could push it aside, I thought I was imagining things, but then it just – I – I couldn't – everything – it's not –" Matthew fought to find the words and had to stop for a moment.

"Just take your time, Matt, I'm not in a hurry." Gilbert told him encouragingly. Matthew looked at him and nodded.

"The thing is, ever since I woke up, I was told you were my best friend and I accepted that, but then you were always hovering around me and everyone's been trying to hide something from me, including you and it's been driving me mad." Gilbert opened his mouth to protest, but Matthew shook his head.

"Hear me out first, please. I'm not stupid; I could see it in all of your eyes. It's written there, and okay, so you don't want to tell me, fine, but that doesn't help me. On top of that, I can't fucking remember you! After all this time, if I have ten memories of you, that's a lot and I know I'm missing something, I just feel it, but I can't do anything about it!

You have no idea what it's like to see someone and try to guess what they mean to you. And I can't even be mad at you because you're always there to help me. And somehow, somewhere amongst all of this, you became my friend again, but then I wasn't sure if you were, because in the back of my mind, something in me yearned for more. Something – something just wanted to hold your hand and be with you." Gilbert could see the tears in the younger man's eyes, he could feel Matthew's pain from across the table and as much as he wanted to run to the other's side and hug him tight, he stayed rooted to the spot.

"It scared me. It completely fucking scared me. I was so confused and I felt as though I already felt this before and then I was angry for not understanding and not knowing what to do.

How the hell am I supposed to tell my "best friend" that I love him? How the fuck is someone supposed to go about that without risking screwing everything up and destroying an entire relationship?" Matthew paused again. The blonde tried to speak a few times, but he could only open his mouth before closing it again.

Gilbert wasn't sure what to make of this. On the one hand, he felt elated that apparently, Matthew had somehow, re-fallen in love with him, but at the same time, there were still so many things he wasn't sure he understood.

"What about – what about Valerie?" He asked. He didn't want to get into anything if Matthew didn't have some sort of closure with her.

"I haven't been with her in almost a month. I spoke with her and we both realized we were after different people. In a way, we were using each other without really knowing it. She was after someone else and I was falling for you. We agreed that we had our good times, but it would be best to just call it quits. That sort of just confirmed everything for me."

"But I thought you were moving in with her. I heard you talking about property and land and whatnot a while back."

"No, that was work related. I wanted to tell you, but when I got home that day, I just didn't feel like staying here so I left." They were silent once more and the atmosphere was still just as heavy.

"Listen, I'm sorry for snapping at you. I just really needed to get everything out and I would hate to lose you as a friend because of this. I just wanted to let you know and –" Gilbert silenced him by placing a finger on his lips.

"Shh, it's okay, don't worry about it, I'm cool with it. I also happen to really like you." He gave the younger man a smile and Matthew was slightly taken aback. Gilbert tried to find the right words that wouldn't hint to their past relationship and he felt those would do.

"Everything's going to be okay." He got up from his seat and Matthew did the same. He found himself walking to him and instinctively wrapped his arms around the other's body. They stayed in that position for a moment and Gilbert revelled in the feel of the shorter man's body against his. It had been far too long since he was this close and he ached for more.

He let Matthew burry his head in his chest and he patted him reassuringly on the back to let him know that he was there for him. Just being close like this was more than he came to think would ever be possible to get to ever again.

When they pulled back, Gilbert noticed that Matthew's unshed tears were threatening to fall and he brought up his hand to wipe away one that rolled down on his cheek. They locked gaze with one another and Gilbert couldn't remember the last time he felt so connected with him.

"I've always loved you." He whispered before tilting Matthew's chin up and bringing his face closer. He pressed his lips against the younger man's and felt Matthew cling to him as he responded back to the kiss. It felt surreal; he waited for this moment, he dreamt about it and he cherished it now.

He tested the waters at first, taking it slow, not wanting to rush Matthew into anything, not wanting to overwhelm him, but when Matthew slipped his tongue in his mouth and pushed him hard against the wall, tugging on his shirt, he placed his hands on top of Matthew's own to stop him. As much as he wanted to continue with this, as much as he would have liked nothing more but to get that physical contact and get some release, they had to stop.

"I'm – I'm sorry, I shouldn't have – I got carried away – I…" Gilbert stopped him by placing a finger on his lips and brushed it over lightly.

"It's okay, don't worry about it, but I know you; we've both been through a lot and if we want to make this work, we shouldn't rush through things." Matthew nodded his head and Gilbert removed his digit before kissing him again briefly.

"But this is okay. We'll build our way up, alright?" Again, Matthew nodded and smiled.

"How about I make us some dinner and we watch a movie afterwards, just the two us and nothing more?" He took the other's hand and kissed it tenderly just as Matthew blushed slightly.

"That sounds like a wonderful plan." Gilbert let go of his hand, before going back to the fridge and started getting the things that he would need out.

They would take it slow for now, go at it one step at a time and he would count his blessings that Matthew, even though he did not have his memories back, somehow found his way back to him. It was a beginning; a new one at that.

**OWARI 15**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Chapter is done!**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: November 3****rd**** 2010, 5:54pm**

**Finished writing: November 4****th**** 2010, 3:56pm**

**Started typing: November 11****th**** 2010, 6:49pm**

**Finished typing: November 11****th**** 2010, 8:07pm**


	16. Awakened

**Breathe Anew**

**Awakened**

**HOLY SHIT. WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I UPDATED POOR BA? I'm so sorry! And this chapter is short too. Why, because it's more of a bridge chapter than anything else. Hopefully I won't take forever to get to the other one…**

**Disclaimer: Weekend, why so short?**

**Characters: Gilbert, Matthew**

Breathe Anew

Awakened

As the days passed, Gilbert slowly came to the realization that ever after the failed attempt to bring Matthew to the lake, he sort of given up on Matthew remembering him. He denied it a first, but when his co-worker pointed out this fact to him, he came to admit to it reluctantly.

He was sure that he was trying his best, but as it came to be, he wasn't. He didn't really try to do anything special to show Matthew his affections for him. Sure, they went out to their favourite restaurant once or twice and yes, they watched movies together, but it stopped there.

And when Valerie walked into Matthew's life, he just abandoned. Raised up his hands, called it quits and tried to convince himself that Matthew would only remain his friend at best.

However, now that Valerie was gone, that Matthew told him he liked him and that they were now a couple once more, things were different.

They were doing outings and spending time together like they had in the past and slowly, the relationship that used to be was being rebuilt, more or less.

Last night, for example, they went out to this themed restaurant and had a blast of a time. The food was wonderfully succulent and the walk afterwards was nice.

When they started getting serious way back when, there would be many times when Matthew would sleep in his room and vice versa, without doing anything intimate. The same could be said about now, with a few minor exceptions.

Or maybe there was just one small difference. Gilbert was still being stubborn and refused to let Matthew sleep in their old room/his room. Part of him was still afraid Matthew would make a relapse or suddenly remember everything and get overwhelmed by it. He didn't mind going into Matthew's room/the old guestroom and even though Matthew sometimes tried to get Gilbert to bring him there, it never happened.

However, last night, for the first time in what felt like forever, Gilbert brought him to his room. Of course, he tried to dissuade Matthew from it, but the younger man was obstinate about it and Gilbert finally relented.

It felt strange at first and surreal, but now, with Matthew snuggled close to him under the blankets, in their room, sleeping on his side; Gilbert was starting to believe things would be okay and that he should have maybe done this sooner.

**OWARI 16**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Like I said, short.**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: December 27****th**** 2010, 6:46pm**

**Finished writing: December 27****th**** 2010, 8:23pm**

**Started typing: January 9****th**** 2011, 4:51pm**

**Finished typing: January 9****th**** 2011, 5:04pm**


	17. Watched

**Breathe Anew**

**Watched**

**We're gonna get there; I swear we will!**

**Disclaimer: Kept my promise; didn't I?**

**Characters: Mostly Arthur, Matthew, Gilbert**

Breathe Anew

Watched

Arthur Kirkland was not a perfect man. He never claimed to be one and therefore, he knew that he was prone to messing up every now and then. However, he was also a very prideful man so therefore, when he happened to make a blunder, it took him a while, before admitting to his wrong.

He was stubborn, strong willed and of strong opinion, but there were times when he even knew that he pushed his grudge too far. The incident with his brother was one of them. Yes, it was true that he had never been Gilbert's greatest friend, but he lately realised that he put misplaced anger on the man. Even though everyone pointed it out to him. It took him a while to come to terms with it himself.

That was why he was currently on his way to Matthew's and Gilbert's place.

When they were children, Arthur always got along well with both of his younger brothers. There were times when he was closer to Matthew and other times when his greatest affiliations was with Alfred, but at the end of the day, they were always family.

They had many spats as brothers would and those fights increased in numbers after the death of their parents, but they stuck together.

He didn't know why it was that he was going to see Matthew, when he didn't see him in many months, but part of him wanted to mend the situation. Maybe he was wrong, or more like, he had been wrong, he knew it wasn't Gilbert's fault for the accident and he knew the other man cared for his brother, but when he heard the news… he was brought back to the day his parents died and how scared he was then, how scared he was now.

He lashed out on Gilbert, because Gilbert was supposed to protect Matthew from these things. Or at least, that's what he told himself. Arthur was protective of his family, so therefore, he expected his brother's boyfriend to make sure nothing drastic happened to his little brother. Of course, he knew Gilbert wasn't a superhero and there would be times when Gilbert wouldn't be able to stop Matthew from getting hurt, but he didn't care at the time.

Now was a different matter.

Matthew had given him a spare key to his place a long time ago and even though he never used it, it was always on his key ring as a friendly reminder of the trust Matthew put in him. Every time he visited in the past, he knocked like any civilised person would have done and waited for Matthew to answer. His brother teased him for being so proper all the time and he always brushed it off as good etiquette.

They key in his hand felt warm and unfamiliar at the same time. He rang the doorbell like he always did, but no one answered him. He knew his brother was home, or at least, that someone was home, since their car was in its usual spot and after waiting ten minutes at the door, Arthur decided that he would give the key a chance.

He didn't want to pry and wouldn't stay long, if the place was empty. He really wanted to see his brother and drop off the sugar pie he brought. He knew it to be Matthew's favourite and he hoped it would be a good peace offering.

He found the place to be silent, yet the shoes were still on the boot tray, so Arthur knew someone was home. He removed his own shoes and put his sweater on the entrance bench before walking in and looking for Matthew.

There was no one in the living room, kitchen, or bathroom and study, so that only left the bedrooms. The old guestroom, which was converted into Matthew's room, was just as void of life as the other rooms and he was about to simply leave, but he heard a soft snore come from the one room he hadn't checked.

Curiosity getting the best of him, he tiptoed to the room and pushed the parted door further open. He wasn't one to pry, but he would later be glad that he did so, this time. Had he stumbled on this same scene a week or maybe even two or three months ago, he would have been livid, furious and he would have done everything in his power to destroy it, but now he just felt a wave of calm wash over him.

Gilbert and Matthew were snuggled close together under the blankets, asleep and both of them looked simply at ease. Arthur was touched by the way Gilbert had his arm wrapped protectively around his brother and how Matthew's head rested softly on the other man's shoulder.

The bedroom curtains were partially drawn and the daylight that filtered through the window shone directly on their splayed hair, making it seem lighter than it really was.

Arthur felt something warm install itself into his chest, as he smiled to himself and closed the door halfway, on his way out.

He went back to the kitchen and dropped the pie on the table. He found a piece of paper and pen, before scribbling a note to Matthew saying he would very much like to see the both of them next week for Sunday dinner and that he would like to talk to them.

He then placed everything on the centre of the table, before going back to the entrance, putting his shoes on, taking his sweater and quietly making his way out.

It was hopefully a step towards healing.

**OWARI 17**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**4 chapters left.**

**I do accept anonymous reviews**

**Started writing: January 14****th**** 2011, 11:32am**

**Finished writing: January 16****th**** 2011, 6:41pm**

**Started typing: January 29****th**** 2011, 4:41pm**

**Finished typing: January 29****th**** 2011, 5:06pm**


	18. Cooked

**Breathe Anew**

**Cooked**

**I'm sorry it's taking me so long to update. University has its hold on me.**

**Disclaimer: Can you smell the ending? I can!**

**Characters: Gilbert, Matthew**

Breathe Anew

Cooked

When Matthew woke up that morning, it was to an unfamiliar room. It took him a moment, but he eventually realised he was in Gilbert's room and they fell asleep in there the previous night. He allowed a small smile to come to his face, as he stretched and felt Gilbert's arm tighten slightly around his waist. He craned his head upwards and found the other man to still be fast asleep. He wiggled about, until he was out of the hold and then sat up.

He took a moment to look at his surroundings. He had been tired the night before and didn't really take in much of the room. He was surprised by the choice of decoration and found that it wasn't what he thought he would find in Gilbert's room. He looked at each wall in turn and at the furniture, until his eyes came to rest on the night table that was on Gilbert's side.

There was a very basic lamp, which matched with the one that was closer to him, there was a gray alarm clock with a red display of numbers and there was a small picture frame as well. Matthew paid little attention to it at first, but then he found his eyes drawn back to it. Gilbert was in the picture, but there was someone else in it.

He extended his hand and took the frame, before reaching for his glasses with the other hand and then bringing the frame close. He gasped at what he saw. It was him and Gilbert, but he clearly did not remember this picture ever being taken. He knew it wasn't some random snapshot, since they were both looking at the camera and smiling for it. He couldn't understand.

He knew he and Gilbert had were friends before he lost his memories, but friends didn't pose like that or kiss each other in such a way for a picture… Matthew felt more and more confused and put the frame down to think of all the possible possibilities.

He always felt there was something that wasn't right about this situation and that there was a puzzle piece missing, but this just threw him off balance. Part of his mind seemed to be whispering to him what it truly was, but the other just couldn't understand why it would be that when he was told the contrary.

He sighed to himself and sat a little straighter. In his sleep, Gilbert subconsciously sought him out and snuggled close in his stomach. Matthew looked down to him and wondered what the older man hadn't told him, what was kept secret from him all this time. He automatically brought a hand down and started brushing his fingers through Gilbert's short silver locks. He took the picture again and looked at it, almost asking it to tell him everything.

He figured he would simply wait for Gilbert to wake up and then confront him about it.

* * *

For some reason or another, Gilbert felt good that morning. He slept soundly and felt completely rested. He could feel Matthew's body heat from under his face and he found himself snuggling deeper into, it as he slowly started waking up. Matthew continued combing his fingers through his hair and he had to admit, it felt really nice.

He lazily stretched and crawled up, before sitting beside the younger man and pecked his lips. He rested his head on Matthew's shoulder and he looked down to their laps.

And then he froze.

He brought his gaze upwards and felt a pang in his chest. Matthew's eyes were a storm. He never saw them so confused, hurt and betrayed. He didn't know what to do or say and he could hear Francis, in the back of his mind, telling him that he should put everything away. If he just fucked up everything, he wouldn't forgive himself, he wouldn't—

"We weren't friends, right?" Matthew finally asked. Gilbert didn't even dare look at him or say anything.

"Answer me! What is this? What does this mean?" He thrust the picture into his face. What was he supposed to say now? He remained silent still. They both remained silent for a moment and brought their gazes to the picture frame and their smiling faces.

"We were lovers, weren't we?" Still nothing.

"Weren't we?" He knew if he looked at Matthew again, he wouldn't be able to keep the truth away from him anymore. There was more silence and he slowly turned his head and looked at him.

"I'm so sorry." He finally said.

"Why didn't you tell me? Why – oh God, you should've told me! No wonder you were so miserable when I was with – why didn't you tell me?"

"I'm sorry. I wanted to! Really, but the doctors were afraid that it would make you relapse and I didn't want to lose you again."

"But you did. You did lose me. I'm just as clueless as before. I don't remember more than half of the things that I supposedly did with you and now I find this."

"Maybe I did… but you're back now." He tried.

"No I'm not. Gilbert, I see it in your eyes, you're in love with the other me. I didn't realise it until now, because I didn't understand, but you have to forget about whatever it is that happened then, if you want for what we have now to work."

"But –" Matthew interrupted him.

"No, shh, forget me, forget him, Gilbert. Maybe one day he'll come back, but for now, please, for me, just put him away." Gilbert remained silent and Matthew sighed, as he took the picture frame out of Gilbert's hands and put it away.

"It's difficult."

"I know it is; I'm just asking you to try, please?"

"I can – I can do that." Matthew smiled softly at him and gave his hand a squeeze.

"How about I go make some breakfast, hmm?" Gilbert found himself nodding and watched as Matthew got out of bed and made his way to the kitchen. Perhaps he should have told Matthew sooner, but he had truly been afraid that Matthew would have forgotten all over again.

* * *

When Matthew came back a few minutes later, he had a large tray with two dishes stacked high with pancakes, butter, maple syrup and strawberry jam and there were two mugs of steaming coffee. He set everything down before regaining his earlier spot. Gilbert remained silent and was mildly surprised when Matthew handed him his dish. He gave a questioning look to the other man, who looked just as perplexed.

"Strawberry jam?" He asked.

"Yes… I know you like it on pancakes as much as maple syrup." Gilbert remained silent and started eating. Inside though, he mentally cheered, for Matthew remembered this entirely on his own, since he hadn't told him any of this. Perhaps there was still hope for the "old" Matthew yet.

**OWARI 18**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**Three chapters left.**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: February 3****rd**** 2011, 10:39pm**

**Finished writing: February 5****th**** 2011, 11:04am**

**Started typing: March 2****nd**** 2011, 6:13pm**

**Finished typing: March 2****nd**** 2011, 6:54pm**


	19. Apologized

**Breathe Anew**

**Apologized**

**You may thank P. for getting me to type this. I apologize (just like the title ahaha) for being so late on updating EVERYTHING. I just haven't been motivated. Sorry.**

**Disclaimer: At least the end is getting closer and closer.**

**Characters: Francis, Alfred, Arthur, Matthew, Gilbert**

Breathe Anew

Apologized

Arthur was a nervous mess. It felt as though it was an extremely long time since he had the entire family over for Sunday dinner. Recent events hadn't made it proper for him to even think of having a family meal and when his own love life was in shambles, he wouldn't well do it.

Thankfully, all of that was now behind him. After he returned from Matthew's place, he found Francis in the kitchen making lunch and tea. Now, even though there wasn't anything unusual about that, the fact there were two cups and two dishes out made everything tip over for him. He felt the tears prickling his eyes and he wanted simply to run to Francis' arms and tell him that he was sorry, but instead, he just stood there, in the entrance of their kitchen, looking in on this scene of familiarity.

He couldn't remember how long he stood there, but at some point, Francis turned around, he saw him and the next thing Arthur knew, he was sobbing in Francis' chest, while the older man simply held him like he had so many times before.

Amidst his tears, Arthur apologized over and over for being the greatest jerk that ever walked the planet and he just wanted for things to go back to normal for them. Arthur wouldn't blame Francis if he said no, if he left him, if he slapped him again or if he did all of the above and then some, but Francis simply continued holding on to him, bringing him to a couch where they sat for many minutes, until Arthur calmed down enough for them to talk like civilized people.

And they talked.

Everything that happened over the past year or so, ever since the accident up until that very second, they talked about it. Arthur explained his motives and why he did it, but he also added he now realised that he was too harsh on not only Gilbert, but on Francis as well.

Francis let him speak, until he was sure Arthur was done and then he took the younger man's hands in his larger ones and told him he was glad Arthur realised all of this on his own.

Arthur told him where went earlier and Francis was pleased. They discussed about the issue a bit longer and moved on to what to serve at next week's dinner. They finally started to slowly melt the ice of their winter, after so long.

This was why, almost exactly a week later, Arthur was pacing in his living room as Francis got the last of dinner ready and he wondered for the fifty-fourth time who would come first; Alfred or Matthew and Gilbert. Matthew was usually on time, but Gilbert wasn't and maybe because of everything that happened, they decided to be late on purpose or maybe they went to pick up Alfred, but he was always late, but maybe Alfred was picking them up and what if Mat—

The doorbell rang.

He would have dropped a dish had he been holding one.

He quickly made his way to the door and opened it to find Alfred. For some reason, he let out a breath he didn't know he was holding.

"Hey bro."

"Hey yourself. How are you doing?"

"Not bad, not bad. Are the others here yet?" Arthur shook his head. as they went to sit in the kitchen. At least, now he had a distraction of some sorts.

* * *

Arthur waited another twenty-five minutes before Matthew and Gilbert arrived. He was nothing but nerves and it would have been almost comical if it wasn't for the fact that he really wanted for his family to return to a happy place. Their greetings were awkward and he was more than pleased when Francis brought out the hors-d'oeuvres.

He ended up talking mostly to Alfred, while Gilbert and Francis spoke amongst themselves and Matthew switched between the two groups. Arthur wanted to wait until they were seated, before telling them what he was carefully rehearsing in his head, at all hours of the day. However, the closer they got to dinner time, the bigger the butterflies in his stomach grew.

At long last, they were seated and the drinks were poured. The food looked succulent as ever and Arthur knew that it was now or never, but j as he opened his mouth to say something, the words died at his lips, as they fought to get out. He tried two more times, but nothing came out.

Francis noticed his struggle and put a comforting hand to his knee, from underneath the table. Arthur turned his head quickly in his direction and Francis gave him a comforting smile. He could do this. He had to do this. For all of their sakes.

"I…. I would like to tell you something…" He finally started. If anything, it got their attention. Francis nodded his head in encouragement and he took a deep breath.

"I have something I would like to tell all of you… I… I would like to apologize for the way… for the way I've acted recently." He paused.

"I know it took me a long time to come to this point, but I'm truly sorry. I had no right to treat you the way I did. I'm sorry; I jumped to conclusions, wrongly accused, mistreated, ignored and hurt you all in some way… but most of all, I'm sorry I failed you as a brother, when you probably needed me the most." He looked at both of his younger brothers and gave them apologetic smiles.

"Don't sweat it, Artie." Alfred brushed it off as nothing, but Arthur knew that it was his younger brother's way of accepting his apology. Matthew, on the other hand, got up and hugged him close. Arthur was startled at first, but after a moment passed, he returned the gesture, glad this much had gone well.

"And lastly, I want to apologize to you, Gilbert. It was wrong of me to accuse you the way I did and to think you would purposely put Matthew's life in danger. If anything, I should be thankful to you for taking such good care of him. I… I've done some pretty horrible things to you and if you want, I would like to start over…" All eyes went from him to Gilbert and he could feel his heart rate speed up, as Gilbert silently got up and stared at him for a moment.

"Hi, I'm Gilbert Beilschmidt. I'm currently dating your brother, Matthew; it's a pleasure to meet you." Gilbert stuck his hand out and for the first time, since they knew each other, Arthur sincerely smiled at him and shook the offered hand. It was a new beginning for all of them.

**OWARI 19**

**TO BE CONTINUED**

**And that concludes another chapter!**

**Two chapters left OMG!**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: February 23****rd**** 2011, 2:38am**

**Finished writing: February 24****th**** 2011, 3:21pm**

**Started typing: March 29****th**** 2011, 5:44pm**

**Finished typing: March 29****th**** 2011, 6:23pm**


	20. Asked

**Breathe Anew**

**Asked**

**Technically, the story as is, is finished. This chapter and the next one are simply bonuses/epilogues.**

**This is the before last chapter.**

**Characters: Gilbert, Matthew**

**Disclaimer: IT'S DONE BEING WRITTEN!**

Breathe Anew

Asked

Two Years Later

Following that dinner at Arthur's, things finally started getting better between the families. They went at it little steps at a time, but Matthew could really tell his older brother was trying to make an effort and it was all he could ask for.

Over the two years, it was safe to say things not only took a turn for the best, but they returned to quasi normal. Matthew's old memories were still buried deep within him, but every now and then, he would recall something trivial from then.

Gilbert didn't really mind anymore. At this point, as long as he was with Matthew, he was happy. It also helped that ever since Matthew admitted to liking him, things definitively improved for the both of them. Gilbert continued to do things with Matthew they did before the accident and he secretly hoped it would help.

Whenever Matthew asked questions about things that happened before, Gilbert now answered him and Matthew was thankful, since it made him understand some of his thoughts better. Not only that, but it also helped him make sense out of his feelings and his half formed memories that sometimes came back to him. On top of that, talking with Gilbert helped him fill in the blanks for events, where he wasn't sure whether it really happened or if he dreamt it.

Over all, the past two years were interesting and filled with rediscoveries. As for now, it was the month of July and the heat reached an ultimate high outside. Matthew was glad they had an air conditioning unit, or else he would have melted by now.

Gilbert went out to run some errands and while he was gone, Matthew started on supper, since it was his turn to cook. Since it was summer and it was nice outside, he decided to barbeque some steaks. He knew Gilbert liked them and he wanted to do something special for the older man tonight.

* * *

Gilbert was driving back home, after picking up some clothes at the drycleaners. He was in an overall good mood and he was looking forward to spending a quiet evening at home.

When he walked inside, he could smell the steaks sizzling on the grill and his mouth watered at the thought. He put the dry cleaning away and went to find Matthew, who was concentrating on the food.

"Hey, Gil." Matthew spared him a glance, before refocusing his attention on the food.

"Mattie, you're making steaks, awesome!" Gilbert gave him a brief hug from behind and noticed his lover smiled softly.

"D'you mind getting me a beer? Great, thanks." Gilbert got the message Matthew wanted to be left to his steaks, so he did as he was told.

When supper was ready, they ate on their patio table and enjoyed the cool evening breeze. Gilbert noticed Matthew seemed a little jumpier than usual, but he let it be for now. Dinner went by well and after the dishes were cleaned, they went to watch some television, while relaxing on the couch.

Again, Gilbert noticed Matthew seemed jittery and he was fidgeting with his thumbs. He tried to get Matthew to relax, but every time he tried, Matthew brushed him off or jumped two feet in the air. Finally, it got to the point where Gilbert couldn't even enjoy two minutes of quiet, without the younger man shifting next to him. Gilbert closed the television and turned to face Matthew.

"Alright, what's wrong? You've been acting un-awesomely strange, for a while now." Matthew bit his bottom lip and looked from Gilbert to his hands and then back up to Gilbert.

"N-nothing, I'm fine, really…" Gilbert didn't believe him at all and arched his brow at the comment.

"Well, it's more like, I have something for you, but I'm not really sure… really sure how to give it to you or how you'll react to it… so yeah… that's why I've been like this."

"Maaaaaatt…. Just get it over with… c'mon, it can't be that un-awesome…" Matthew was silent for a moment and Gilbert sighed as he took Matthew's hand and gave it a reassuring squeeze.

"It's…. it's…."

"Matthew, just tell me, I promise I won't laugh." Gilbert watched as Matthew took a deep breath and turned around so they were both facing each other.

"See, here's the thing, ever since the accident and, before that too, you've been helping me with everything… we're…. well, I really like you and I was just thinking, or more like hoping, because at this point I'm really more hoping than thinking, that maybe you'd want to… I mean, since we've been together for a while now, well a while, since before the accident, but I'm digressing now, basically, I was just wondering if you wanted to marry me." Gilbert's eyes went wide and he could hear his heart hammering in his chest. He noticed Matthew pull out a box and open it, revealing a ring.

The first thing Gilbert noticed was the box, or more like the familiarity of the box. This box was a box that he was sure he would never see for the rest of his life.

"Matt… the box… I mean, can I see it?" Gilbert could tell it wasn't what Matthew was expecting, but the younger man slowly handed him the box.

Gilbert took it and brought it closer to his face. The colour was a little faded, but it was the same box.

"How did you… where did you find this box?" He finally asked. Matthew gave him a sheepish smile and scratched the back of his head.

"Remember the day after I woke up? When I found you on the hospital roof? Well after you left, I noticed you dropped it. I picked it up and wanted to give it back to you, but then so many things happened, until I completely forgot about it.

A few months ago, I was cleaning out my things and I happened to find it. I thought I could use it to give it to you. I'm guessing you wanted to propose to me, if that's not the case, then this is really awkward and I apologize." Gilbert was speechless for a moment, as he tried to form a proper sentence.

"You… you're not wrong… I did want to propose to you… but then the accident happened… I can't believe you kept the box…" Matthew nodded and played with the sleeve of Gilbert's shirt.

"So eum… about what I asked, what's your answer?"

"Oh, right! Yeah, eum, sorry, yes, yes I'll marry you, of course, this is awesome!" Gilbert laughed as he hugged Matthew to him. The younger man wrapped his arms around him and they shared a kiss.

"About time you give me an answer. Had I known you would be more interested in the box, I wouldn't have bothered with the ring." Matthew teased. Gilbert hit him lightly on the arm and the two laughed it off.

**OWARI 20**

**TO BE CONCLUDED**

**Guys, there's the epilogue left and then this is finished with forever.**

**Wow.**

**This was written at P's place lol.**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: May 17****th**** 2011, 4:16pm**

**Finished writing: May 17****th**** 2011, 8:19pm**

**Started typing: June 7****th**** 2011, 10:26pm**

**Finished typing: June 7****th**** 2011, 11:24pm**


	21. Recapped

**Breathe Anew **

**Recapped**

**This is it guys; the last chapter. I'm sorry it took so long to type.**

**Characters: Arthur, Francis, Matthew, Gilbert, Sofie**

**Disclaimer: THE END.**

Breathe Anew

Recapped

10 Years Later

Epilogue

Many things changed over the last ten years. Many, many different things happened. Things slowly, but surely took a turn for the better, for everyone. Francis and Arthur still had a relationship that was unique to them and Alfred eventually settled down with someone. Arthur had the family over every Sunday evening for supper and life continued on much like it always did.

On the day of Matthew's and Gilbert's wedding, they had a small private ceremony, where they exchanged their vows with the witness of their close friends and family. Arthur and Alfred finally met Mr. and Mrs. Beilschmidt, along with Gilbert's younger brother; Ludwig.

After the ceremony, they went to a nice restaurant to celebrate the happy occasion and the following day, they left for a week long honeymoon to Aruba.

When they returned, they fell into their easy routine from way back when and it seemed that things would be just fine and they were.

As for Matthew's memories, they never really came back. Occasionally, Matthew would remember something from the first five years they were an item, but everything else was quite scarce. As much as it pained Gilbert all those happy times were lost to Matthew, he had to admit all things considered, he didn't mind so much anymore, since they now had new memories they could both talk about.

There were still days however, where Gilbert missed being able to talk about them and Matthew berated himself for not being able to remember. Even though Gilbert told him it wasn't his fault, Matthew still felt as though it was.

It wasn't as big an issue as it once was and it didn't come up as often as before, but it was still a small pebble in their relationship.

What really helped them move away from the issue was a little girl named Sofie. Four years after they tied the knot, both Matthew and Gilbert started talking about the possibility of adoption. They entertained the idea of having children for a while and they filled out the necessary paperwork.

They got a lot of support from their families and whether or not Arthur was so helpful, because he still felt bad over what happened in the past or not, his help was God sent.

They also moved. Before they were able to get custody of Sofie, Matthew suggested they move. He mentioned reasons such as their jobs being far, living in a better neighbourhood, (even though they lived in a good one), getting something bigger, seeing what was out there, and about ten other reasons, but it was painfully obvious the real reason was this place was the place of "before". Gilbert didn't say anything and agreed.

In the end, it was all for the best. The move did them both wonders and the coming of their little bundle of joy helped them heal the last of their wounds.

Sofie was eight months old when they got her and they decided not to change her birth name. She had light brown hair and blue eyes and even though she was not their biological child in any way, her personality and way of acting was entirely of her adoptive parents.

As it was now, Sofie was almost four years old and a very strong willed little girl. She was never afraid to speak her mind and to proclaim she was awesome like her daddy, but she was also very sweet and kind to other people like her papa.

It was the end of the month of May now and the weather was quite decent, these past few days. It was warm and sunny and it actually looked like they would have a nice summer, this year.

Matthew was busy, bent down in front of a large cooler, putting various different things in it. Everything was quiet at home and he was enjoying the silence, when he heard a pair of feet walk up to him. He looked away from the cooler and found a still sleepy Sofie, clutching a stuffed rabbit Arthur gave her, rubbing her eyes, standing in front of him.

"Morning pumpkin, did you sleep well?" Sofie nodded and went to plop herself on her papa's leg, cuddling it. Apparently, she wasn't much of a fan of the morning either; just like her daddy.

"'S it time t'go uncle Artie 'nd oncle Francis' house?" She asked, hiding a yawn. Matthew chuckled and picked her up in his arms, before sitting her down on the counter.

"Soon, when the small hand on the clock will be on ten and the big hand will be on six; that's when." Sofie nodded her head and observed the clock, as if by looking at it, time would speed up. Matthew chuckled again and started making breakfast.

For the past two weeks, Matthew was looking forward to this day and was hoping it would be a nice day, outside. So far, the weather was holding up and Matthew was glad. He was going out with Gilbert and Sofie would be staying with his brother, since Matthew felt it would be best if their daughter wouldn't be there, for this particular outing.

By the time Matthew finished making breakfast, Sofie was sitting on Gilbert's shoulders and the older man was playing "tchoo-tchoo train" in the kitchen. They stopped at "Central Station" and had to "pay" one kiss to the "gate keeper", who in turn served them food. Matthew liked mornings like these and the three of them ate in an amicable atmosphere.

Once they finished eating, Gilbert went to change Sofie and help her get ready for the day, while Matthew finished off the breakfast dishes. When the three of them were ready, Matthew drove to Arthur's place and Sofie was very excited to spend the day with her two uncles.

While Gilbert watched Matthew and Sofie greet Arthur and Francis, he found himself wondering what exactly it was Matthew planned for them. Gilbert tried asking, or even trying to figure it out, but Matthew hadn't said a word and as far as he was concerned, it wasn't an anniversary date, or a birthday, or anything else of the sort.

Gilbert watched Matthew walk back to the car and then drive them to wherever it was they were going.

"So, what are my chances of you telling me where you're bringing me?" Gilbert looked at Matthew from the corner of his eyes and even though the younger man's face had a few more wrinkles than when they first met, Matthew's violet eyes still shone with as much joviality and mischief as they had when they were both younger.

"Slim and none; and slim left the building."

"No fair, Matt, we're in a car." Matthew tsked him and kept on driving. Gilbert was more amused than annoyed, but he was still intrigued.

"We'll be there shortly, so hush."

About fifteen minutes or so later, Gilbert thought they arrived to the mystery location, when Matthew slowed down the vehicle, and he was about to comment with a snide remark regarding the fact they were in the middle of nowhere, when Matthew gave him a blind fold and told him to put it on and shut up.

Gilbert did as he was told and Matthew drove for another ten minutes. Gilbert was really curious as to where it was they were going and he was quite glad when Matthew finally parked the car. He was however, told to keep the blindfold on.

The younger man took something out from the trunk of the car, before helping him out and leading him to wherever they were going. After another two minutes, Matthew put down the thing he took out of the car and removed the blindfold from Gilbert's eyes.

Gilbert blinked once and twice and when his eyes adjusted to their location, he gasped.

It couldn't be. It simply was impossible that they were here when they hadn't been in more years he cared to admit. He quickly turned to look at Matthew, in the hopes of getting an explanation and Matthew just smiled softly at him.

It was the lake. Their lake. The lake Gilbert brought Matthew to those many years ago. The lake where he wanted to propose. That lake.

He was perplexed, so much so he couldn't understand how it was Matthew brought him here. Was it a coincidence? Had someone told him of the place?

"Matt?" He didn't trust himself to say more than that and he hoped his lover understood the myriad of questions that were in that single word.

Gilbert watched as Matthew continued to smile softly and sat on the picnic blanket he brought with him. He sat next to Matthew, when he motioned for him to do so.

"Many years ago, you brought me here, on a sunny day, much like this one. You didn't straight out tell me, but I could tell you wanted to tell me something, or do something that was very important to you. I've brought you here so you can do that." Gilbert felt his throat clench at those words. He couldn't find the right thing to say to express his feelings, at this very moment.

He waited so long, so very long for this day, for the day when Matthew would remember or would show a sign he remembered more than little trivialities.

"Why… why here though?" He asked, just to be sure.

"You brought me here often." Matthew paused. "It's been a while, but I felt as though everything started here; our first dates, the accident, now…"

"You… you remember?"

"Yes… yes, I do and I'm back." Gilbert simply pulled Matthew to him and hugged him tightly.

"It's good… that's good and there's no need for me to finish what I started back then… you did that for me." Matthew looked up at him, surprised.

"Oh? And what was that?"

"I wanted to promise to love you forever, but you've been doing that for a while now." Matthew smiled at him and hugged him just as Gilbert kissed the top of his head.

**OWARI**

**THE END**

**I'd like to thank anyone who has and who will read this. Thanks to P. as well for helping me out and proofreading.**

**Hope you guys liked it!**

**I do accept anonymous reviews.**

**Started writing: June 2****nd**** 2011, 9:12pm**

**Finished writing: June 6****th**** 2011, 3:45pm**

**Started typing: August 7****th**** 2011, 12:02pm**

**Finished typing: August 7****th**** 2011, 12:56pm**


End file.
